Flowing Water

Memories of hot summer afternoons poking my stick into the twigs and soggy leaves and breaking apart the little dams that had formed in our backyard creek.  Pieces of dark gray slate lay in places and when the water flowed, I found it more pleasing.  So, I did my job and helped the creek along by breaking up those dams.  And sometimes 'saving' some crawdads into a gallon ice cream bucket of water.  Ew.

I have shared this before, but I absolutely love moving water and always have.  Babbling mountain streams flowing over rocks with the lush green foliage draped over the sides - richly nourished and completely healthy -- one of my favorites.  I take pictures...they never are the same as being there and hearing and watching as the water turns white in places where it gets all stirred up because of the force of the flow...I don't have to unclog the dams in those streams because the force of the water just finds a different way around it.

 

The ocean waves breaking on the beach, water running to fill my bathtub with bubbles, the fountain in our neighborhood pond, a sprinkler watering the new grass seed...  why do I love all of this?  They all bring me a sense of peace...

In my last post I mentioned that making changes in my life, breaking chains/habits that have been there for years, can not be done on my own.  I've been devouring books on healing, growing, breaking chains, etc.  What has the Lord consistently had me take away?

Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.  He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'" But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. (John 7:37-39)

These scriptures tell about how Jesus was going to give the Holy Spirit to believers.  The Spirit lives inside of us and is our Helper. He is part of the Trinity, He is fully God.  He LIVES IN US!  The power of God is inside of us.  When I can not do it - He can.  Am I stepping aside and letting that living water flow from my innermost parts?  Do I even remember most of the time that He lives in me?

I have been meditating on how often in the Bible, water - especially moving water - is used to describe things.  As I close my eyes and look at the Spirit inside of me and focus on an actual flow coming out of my soul, my spirit, my heart, my belly (however you want to word it) it calms me.  I allow that water to flow through my entire body, visualizing it getting in every crack, working it's way around any dams that may be there or busting right through them, filling the voids where I ache and long for something to make me feel significant, secure and satisfied.  And after the healing water of the Spirit covers me completely, still flowing and moving, I visualize it coming out of my core and spilling over through my words and my actions -- things that will affect those around me.  And when I am actually 'in the Spirit,' God can pour His healing water over those I interact with.  I am at that point allowing the Spirit to use me as a vessel - I'm a living sacrifice.  Not my will but His be done.

Now, this is easy if you sit down and think on it...but we are busy and we are pulled in twenty directions and we are irritated and rubbed the wrong way and we have the flesh fighting the Spirit...we want our own way.  And honestly I'm not sure how often I've actually thought on the Spirit being in me and WHY He's in me in the past 18 years of being a Christian.  The Living Water will flow through us when we are allowing it to, but when we are not  - it stops.  Maybe it gets through every now and then.  Maybe.  What does water that is left with no movement do?  It grows stagnant, diseased, stinky, it attracts bugs...dams probably get stronger and stronger.  You get the point.

This is what I want to be...productive for the Lord and intentionally being nourished by the flow of the Spirit EVEN WHEN my circumstances are not great:

They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  (Jeremiah 17:8)

Revelation 22 describes a piece of Heaven.  "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city."  (v1-2)  I'm certain that you will find me on a bench listening to that sweet flow and soaking in the constant presence of the Lord.  I hope you'll come sit with me for a bit.

Image courtesy of alexisdc / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Beauty Between the Valley and the Mountain Top

Life has it's mountain tops and it's valleys and it's monotonous lonely desert highways...  Lately I feel like I am set on cruise control down a very straight and not so scenic road.  On one hand that is good - no tragic circumstances...but in these times I don't recognize my God much, which makes me feel sad and lonely.  I keep dealing with the same issues, failing in the same places and vowing to do something different which doesn't last long.  It's comfortable here...not exactly exciting, but comfortable.  If I make some changes it will disrupt my flow and cause me to have to pay attention - turning off the cruise control - adding discomfort to my life.  But, oh how much prettier it is on those mountain tops and down in those valleys!  How I stop at both of these places and just acknowledge the Creator and His awesomeness!

Last weekend we went on a tubing trip on the Green River in the foothills of North Carolina.  We turned off

From Wilderness Cove's Website 

the interstate and then turned onto a road that had eight or more hairpin turns straight down, down, down, into the valley, into the gorge, into the cove where this mountain river babbled along.  We did NOT have our cruise control on going down this road and I was definitely in discomfort as Jeff was going a wee bit faster than I would have liked as I looked over the edges.  Once we got our inner tubes, walked out into the freezing water and plopped down, the current carried us along.  I imagined a leisurely 'lazy river' float but realized very quickly that the many rocks, downed trees, and shallow areas in the river would give us quite a work out.  There was no 'lazy' about this trip!  Four days later my arm and stomach muscles were still telling me that they were used more than usual!  During the parts of the three hours that we did float slowly and peacefully I admired the canopy cover of the trees, the wildflowers along the banks, the way the water rushed along the rocks...beautiful.  Leading me to immediately acknowledge the Creator -- in this valley we were in.  I wish I would have been able to take pictures, but considering I started out with a plastic bottle of water and realized two minutes into the trek that it was gone - I'm glad I didn't have anything with me!

During our mountain top highs in life we turn and thank God - we reflect on how He has gotten us there - and we enjoy His presence.  During our valley lows in life we cling to God and rely on Him and commune with Him more than any time - and we enjoy that close presence.

How...on the straight, day-in-day-out, 'normal' roads with our cruise set do we find that closeness to God?  I'm writing this for me right now, because I need to know.  How?  How God?  Where did You go?  First of all, He went no where.  He is always with us.  I am the one who has changed since He is unchanging.  Sigh...  So, what has changed?

I have realized over the past few weeks that I have become lazy in so many areas of my life this summer. (Maybe that is why I wanted a 'lazy river' ride on the river??)  Undisciplined.  I offer the excuse that, "I just have no self-control."  But that is a lie that Satan would like me to believe and feel defeated by.  Guess what?  The Fruit of the Spirit includes self control.  And the Spirit lives inside of me.  His power is available to me.  Laziness in my eating habits, my quiet time and prayer time, my exercise (non-existent), making dinner for the family, being consistent in discipline with the kids has also made me feel rather much like a failure lately.  Overwhelmed by the extent of things I've let slide I feel powerless to make changes.

So timely this morning, Pastor Shane said, "The presence of unconfessed sin disrupts our prayer life."  A light bulb went off this morning as I asked, 'God, is that why my relationship with you has seemed so blah?'  I see a lot of sin admitted in the paragraph above.  And it has been unconfessed.  I've complained about it, seen myself doing/not doing the stuff...been aware of it and hated it.  I've tried to make changes with my own strength which have lasted at longest two days.  I've not confessed it with a repentant heart.  The sin of believing lies about myself is present too - I'm a 'failure' and I'm 'powerless to change' and I'm 'defeated.'  Those are lies that make Satan smile and make me not much good as a witness to the power of Christ living inside of me!

I've continued getting up early this summer to have my daily quiet time with God, but it has been anything but satisfying.  I've grappled with what I've been doing wrong.  I pray and feel like there is a ceiling that my prayers hit and fall back down on top of me.  I feel so far from Him and I miss that close relationship that I have when I'm on the mountain tops and in the valleys.  And as I miss that sweet communion with Him, the long, boring, dry, straight road I'm taking seems very lonely and non-colorful as I travel along.  I just set the cruise control, become as comfortable as I can, and cruise on...not doing anything about my behaviors...just complaining about them every so often.

Beauty in between the valley and the mountain top.  Just our backyard.

So, right now, I am going to brighten up my path because God gave me the tools to do this.  I just needed to be reminded of them this morning during the sermon. I can't control the circumstances that would put me on a path on a mountain top or a valley.  But I can control how I view this straight road I'm on right now.  First things first...the sin that is in my life is disrupting my relationship with God.

 Father God, please forgive me.  Help me to grieve over things that grieve You.  I'm sorry that I've eaten the bread of idleness for months and allowed myself to believe the lies that I have no self control.  I'm sorry that my time with You has been short and boring and dead almost.  Ugh.  I miss you!  I'm sorry that I've treated my body poorly by giving it anything that it sees and moving it rarely for exercise and health.  I'm sorry that I've not been what my family needs by providing them with good meals in the evening and by wasting a lot of time on the internet.  I'm sorry that I have let the kids do a lot of whatever they want, just so I didn't have to deal with discipline and consistency.  Lord, I feel like a failure in so many ways.  I know that it is a step in the right direction to confess my sins to you and turn away from them.  Help me to draw from the strength of the Spirit living inside of me.  I'm thankful for 1 John 1:9 that says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  I'm standing before you cleansed and free from the weight of my sin because of your Son and I'm so thankful.  Please let this open my eyes to the color and beauty on this road I'm on, whether it be the same day-to-day-to-day stuff or not, because it is still Your creation and Your creation (even the stuff between the mountains and the valleys) is amazing!

Christ Alone; Cornerstone

Christ alone; Cornerstone,

Weak made strong; in the Savior's love

Through the storm,

He is Lord, Lord of all.

This has been playing in my head since Sunday morning when we sang it at church.  It's a powerful song. Click on the words to hear it!  But I also wondered a bit about what I was singing.  What is a cornerstone?  A cornerstone is a stone at the corner of a building uniting two intersecting walls.  Such a stone, often inscribed, laid at a ceremony marking the origin of a building.  It was very important in ancient days - being a large stone, the beginning of the structure, that held up the whole building.  So, that stone had utmost importance - everything else was dependent on it being correct and strong.

I love analogies/word pictures.  I love the picture of us (weak stones) held up and made strong by Jesus, who is of utmost importance, correct, strong, level, the origin of us.  The storm called life is blowing all around us, but that Cornerstone will support us.  We can completely depend on Him.  He is our Rock, our Love, our Shelter, our All.

Recently I, and many others, have noticed how 'under attack' Christianity and the church is.  Is the attack getting worse or are we getting worse?  Probably both.

Paul wrote, "There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” (2 Tim. 3:1-5)   

Paul also warned, “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” (2 Tim. 4:3).

We are here for a short time.  Now is the time to link arms with our brothers and sisters in Christ, lay aside our emotions which can not be trusted, believe that Christ is our Cornerstone supporting us in the storm, and run this race together until the day of His return .

"Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord."  (Eph.2:20 NLT, bold type mine)

 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Heb 10:23-25)

Image courtesy of George Stojkovic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Reflections on a Small Part of God's Creation

We had a great time on the beach in the Outer Banks over the past few days.  Each time I've been to the beach recently, I am more and more in awe of God's amazing creation and just how big He is!

The way the waves just continue coming...over and over and over...and don't stop.  The quantity of itty bitty grains of sand on one beach...the way it feels on your bare feet.  The vastness of the water.  The continuous breeze and the sound of the water - the waves crashing.  The colors, the sounds, the smells, the emotions that make the 'real world' melt away...  The way the waves are SO powerful that it can totally pull you under or knock you down, even hurt when it smacks you in the back!

The trillions of grains of sand on the beach reminds me how He knows how many hairs are on my head and I don't doubt at all that He knows how may grains of sand are on the beach - He is all knowing.  It is purely amazing.  Psalm 139:17-18 (NIV) says, "How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them, Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I am awake, I am still with you." His thoughts about me are more numerous than the grains of sand!!  He thinks about me constantly!!  (and you too!) Whoa...

This visit to the beach, Jeff invited me to get up with him for the sunrise on the beach one morning.  Which, on a side note, was such a romantic thing!  We looked it up online - what time to expect the sunrise.  Of course, it listed it to the exact minute.  We have faith that the sun will rise every morning and we know the exact time to depend on it to come up.  Sitting on the beach watching the orange sun peak just over the blue horizon I was struck with the beauty of it all.  God, even more sure than the sunrise, is dependable - showing up on time.  More so than the things we have faith in here on this earth -- the seasons changing, the sun rising and setting, our next breath and heartbeat without thinking about it -- God is worthy of our faith and worthy to depend on.  He is on time.  It is nice that we can pin a time on the sunrise, the tides changing, a flight taking off (sometimes), and the beginning of the school day...but sometimes we don't know the time of events.  We don't know when we will die, or when we will conceive, or when to expect the next storm in our lives.  But God does...and He is on time.   Always...

We can try to predict the sunrise time, a storm coming, and reactions of others.  But we can't predict exactly what to expect from God.  Although He is always dependable and has proven that He can be trusted, He is God and we do not know His ways - so he is unpredictable to us.  But He is in control fully.  Unpredictable to us yet fully in control.  Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV) says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

I had to sit down and reflect about the wonder and beauty of the ocean and how it allows me to draw near to God.  How it makes Him so amazing and so big in my eyes.  My hope is that I can find the same beauty and wonder in each and every day - because it is there - my eyes just need to be open and my heart needs to be looking for it.  A piece of Him - every day - every place.