Merry Christmas from the Kissels!

Dear Family and Friends,

Wow!  Has it been another year?  I can hardly believe the end of 2013 is approaching!  As you think of a tree, this year has been one of sending down roots and growing outward for our family.  We were planted here in North Carolina 2 1/2 years ago now.  The ties and stakes have been taken off and our surroundings have become home.  Here is the 2013 Kissel Family Update:

We began the year owning two homes still!  But in March we were so excited to end that 19 month trial in our lives and close on the sale of our Indiana home.  God was still in every detail of our move here - even though our house didn't sell quickly.  He used this time to grow each one of us in our faith and trust of Him as Provider, to teach us a little about His timing, patience, and to be generous - as others had been to us.  It was not a fun time, but we are better for going through it.

This summer we were able to take a fun family vacation to the Outer Banks in North Carolina.  First we took a small? detour up the coast to Delaware to see our friend Scott.  We visited Dogfish Head Brewery, ate blue crab, walked the boardwalk at Rehoboth Beach, and saw wild ponies at Assateauge Island, Maryland.  We also drove under the ocean in the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel.  Eek.  The Outer Banks were perfect - just sitting on the beach listening to the waves.  Jeff and I snuck out early one morning and watched the sunrise.  We saw the Wright Brothers museum, Roanoke Island, and one of the many lighthouses.

Jeff and I spent a night in Asheville, North Carolina after dropping the kids off in Indiana this summer to spend a week with the grandparents.  We visited several microbrews and did some shopping and driving on the Blue Ridge Parkway in the mountains.






In August we were blessed with an unexpected trip to Hilton Head Island for a few days.  Again, the family enjoyed the beach...until Evan was stung by a jelly fish many times and minutes later sharks were sighted in that same area!  We enjoyed the pools after that!  This trip was one of relaxing, but we did eat at The Salty Dog Cafe - which you can't not do while there.  Beautiful island...wonderful memories.


Miss Emily turned 11 in February, got braces in April, and 'graduated' grade school in June.  She started middle school in August and didn't skip a beat... adjusting within a week.  She started band this year, taking after her mama and playing the flute - quite well I might add.  She is enjoying her Cadette Girl Scout troop this year...it's almost cookie time - you'll be hearing from her soon!  She also is loving Wednesday night youth group at church - there are many other sixth grade girls and they are doing a great job building wonderful relationships with each other.

Little Evan turned 9 in May.  He is finding that third grade is a little more serious and is learning how to put forth his best effort in everything he does.  He...and thus Jeff... joined cub scouts this fall.  So far the boys are enjoying this time together.  They've even gone tent camping..something I never thought I'd see Jeff do.


Jeff still enjoys rooting on his Hoosiers...we meet people from Indiana here often because he's always sporting his swag.  Still my chef, baker, joker, and love of my life...can't imagine life without him.  This year he and some buddies started a podcast, Charlotte Beercast, which is a 'talk show' about craft beer.  He's enjoyed this and getting to know the Charlotte brewers.  This fall Jeff and I launched a new Life Group and have been so blessed already as we've grown to love these five other families.  Jeff spent a weekend somewhere in the NC mountains being manly this fall for a men's retreat and had a great time too.

In January I began cleaning homes a few times a week and have continued to all year long - it's been a blessing for us and I've met some special families through this!  Still involved at school, but not as much. This year I've loved getting more plugged into our church family this year - through a leadership group, a Bible study, our Life Group and serving I've made some awesome sister friends.  Around August it was like a switch was flipped for me and I suddenly found myself feeling completely at home here as the mourning was over!  In October I shared up on stage for about twenty minutes during a women's event...willingly - If you knew me in high school - that is a shocker! ;)  It was a neat experience, allowing God to work through me.  I'm still enjoying writing my blog (which now that you've found your way here I invite you to keep up with us here all year!), crafting and landscaping when I have the time.

This year has been filled with highs and lows...obviously I've written all about the good parts of 2013 and left out the melt downs, bad attitudes, hurts, tears and pain.  Please don't be fooled into thinking our life is perfect.  Our circumstances aren't always good ones, but we have hope and joy in our Lord Jesus Christ. Our attitudes aren't always good ones, but we have forgiveness because of Jesus.

One day He will arrive to gather us home...we hope and pray that you have accepted Jesus as your Savior. Time is short.  As we celebrate this season, take some time to think about Who we are celebrating.  He gave us a way out..a replacement...someone else to pay for what we've done.  Why?  Because He loves you and wants to save you.  As you think on these truths, please contact us if you have questions about them.  Celebrate and sing, "Joy to World, The Lord has Come!" and enjoy the moments of 2014!

Love,
Jeff, Amy, Emily, and Evan

I am Not "All That"

Nothing like being humbled.  Being stopped in your tracks and shown that 'no, I am not all that and no, I do not have that mastered!'

I do have these mastered.  #allthat

I like to think of myself as a humble person - since I think that does that make me not humble?  Anyway, I don't typically walk around saying 'Oh, I've got that mastered.  I'm a pro at that.'  Well, except when it comes to making chocolate chip cookies - I will say that I am very good at that!  I like the reminders that tell us to not brag about not sinning in certain areas because we are all human and can fall at any time in any way.  Don't put it past us to suddenly sin in a way that we never thought we would.  We are all human, sinful, deceitful, and fall short all the time.  That's why we need a Savior!!  Thankfully when we do mess up, Jesus is standing with His arms wide open waiting for us to admit our shortcomings and return to His arms.  And He always has a way out for us so that we can endure it.

Paul wrote to the church of Corinth in 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 , "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

A sin is a sin is a sin in God's eyes, but humans tend to put a level of badness on our sins.  No, I have not killed anyone, but I have harbored bitterness and nasty thoughts toward others.  I am a sinner.  I am not homosexual, but I have committed sexual sins.  I am a sinner.  No one is any better than the next.  And for us to walk around and say, 'I can't believe her.  I haven't cheated on my husband and I NEVER would' (probably with a copy of  "Fifty Shades" in our hands) always waves a red flag to me.  Please don't say that.  First, it is up to God to judge and He will.  But second, you never know what may happen tomorrow and unfortunately we are all capable of horrible things.  Our attitude should be that of compassion - loving that person and accepting them while not approving of their sin.  It's hard though - I know!  But, I want to be treated that way!  I want my friends to love me even though I have sin issues with putting people before God and speaking hateful words to my family and having envious yet judgmental thoughts towards others.  I want them to help me through my sin, not excuse it.  Our attitude should also be that of humbleness - it is not past my sinful heart to entertain temptations which lead me to sin in ways I never would have guessed I would.

I am humbled each time the Spirit shows me another way that I'm far from God and not like Jesus.  He showed me a few weeks ago that I'm not bold and honest when I need to be - when it may be hard.  He showed me that I was still valuing man's opinion more than His.  It's not like I walk around thinking I'm all that, but I do tend to think that I'm 'good,' that I have things under control and figured out.

In September I joined Community Bible Study (CBS).  CBS is a group of all different aged women from churches all over the area who come together every Thursday morning to study a book of the Bible.  This year we're studying the book of John.  I've been placed in a Core group of ladies who are blessed with amazing insight to the Word of God.  And I've been completely humbled.  I thought I was really far along in my walk and pretty knowledgeable about the things and ways of God.  There are layers upon layers to the scriptures.  When I answer a question with the obvious sentence right out of the text there are usually so many other things that can be shown to us in those verses.  As I've spent the last month in my group not saying much, I am thinking back to eleven or so years ago when I got involved in my very first Bible Study at CFC, a Beth Moore Study - "Jesus, The One and Only."  There were so many ladies in that group that had so much to say and I was like a sponge, absorbing things from them - flat out amazed at what I was learning.  God spoke to me through that study as I sat back and 'didn't know much,' He taught me.  I'm so there again.

I have had to fight off some nasty self talk, and attacks that say - "Really, you don't know the tip of the iceberg, girl - What business do you have ministering to others!"  But then I remember the truth of the matter - we will not have 'arrived' until we are face to face with Jesus!  So, it is awesome that I'm continuing to learn.  None of us could learn as easily as we do if we didn't have those around us who are further along in their insights and understandings.  Praise God for how He places us in the communities that He does!

So, thank you Lord for reminding me that I have so far to go, but You are right here with me...that I am not 'all that' and am capable of sins beyond my belief.  Thank you that I can lean on You and the Holy Spirit to give me strength to resist temptations and that You give me a way out because You love me.  Thank you that I can be confident that You began a good work in me and will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phl 1:6)  Amen!

Gentleness - Assuming the Best and Giving Grace

My writing has become few and far between.  I miss it!  I was tunnel-visioned in on Spring Fling Thing and the Silent Auction then came the rest of May - Jeff's birthday, Evan's birthday, Mother's Day, a visit from my parents and the beginning of the end of school festivities!  Feeling very blessed these days here in North Carolina!

My six month leadership Journey group at church is coming to an end soon.  I've been so blessed to get to know the other ladies in this group.  I've learned a ton through the books we've read and the conversations/meetings I've had with each of the girls.  So much wisdom in these women!

Recently in two of the books I've read for this group, God has opened my eyes to yet another thing He wants me to work on as I become more like Him daily.  It has been my prayer for probably the past year that I would be gentle in spirit.  It is so endearing to be around women who have a gentleness about them.  Doesn't mean they aren't strong, but it does mean they aren't loud and bossy!  I long to be someone that others see as gentle. And more importantly - someone that I know is gentle on the inside too!

I think that as I seek to be gentle, God has taught me about the grace that He has extended.  The benefit of the doubt that He gave me.  He didn't jump to conclusions with me.  The way He looks at me - by looking at my heart and my intentions and not always my messed up actions.  He gave grace to me (and to YOU!) by allowing His only Son to die and be punished for my mistakes and sins.  Jesus was my replacement.  He was punished and died in my place so that I didn't have to.  And now that He paid for those sins that I have committed, am committing, and will commit during my life - I can have a relationship with God Almighty - because my sins are covered and He sees me as pure and holy.  Did I deserve to have my sins paid for?  No.  Did I do anything to earn this gift?  No.  It is purely grace that was given to me.  Undeserved, unearned and generous.  Just like a gift wrapped up and handed to me - all I have to do to receive it, is accept it out of the giver's hands.   He's holding out that gift with a big bow on it to you, too - whether you accept it or not.  But the joy of accepting this grace He's given is amazing.  Letting Him into your life and saying, "I need help, I'm sorry, I can't do this on my own - thank You for paying for my sins with Your Son Jesus" - it's all that is needed to spend eternity in the presence of the God who is full of grace, benefits of the doubt, never jumping to conclusions, and a judge of the heart - not our messed up actions.

The Holy Spirit recently really grabbed my heart and asked - 'why do you not give others the benefit of the doubt?  Why do you look at people's actions and judge so harshly?  Why don't you look at their intentions and their heart?'  Ouch...  This really was hit home a month or so ago when I assumed something about someone (given the behavior I had seen in the past from this person) that ended up not being the case at all.  Thankfully I had not opened my mouth to anyone except my loving husband, but it was still a sin.  I am still grieved that I can be so cruel.

I tend to jump to conclusions over an action or a comment by another that isn't as straightforward as it could be.  It may come from some past hurts - people intentionally hurting me - when there was no question that the words and actions were for nothing more than harm (because they said so and were clear.)  It many also come from the past low self-esteem that I had for so long.  The 'I assume the worst because I'm not worthy of the best' type thinking.  I also know what I, myself, am capable of - I unfortunately am capable of mean thoughts and actions - so it's easy to think that the person in question may be doing that too.  Negative self talk and lies of Satan has a role in this too.  It is easy for me to go down a path in my mind that is not those 'good, pure, and true' things that I should be thinking of.  Instead I wallow in the what if's and lies that the enemy enjoys using while I sit and 'assume' that she/he probably did that on purpose with very ill intent!  

So, as I was reading this month, here is what I learned.  "In general - you get what you expect from others."  Here are some good guidelines:

• Don't assume the worst - assume the best!
• See things from their perspective.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt.
• Remember their good days not their bad ones.
• Forget about justice - instead, focus on grace and forgiveness.
• Appreciate what others intend - not only what they do!

*Taken from 25 Ways to Win with People by John C. Maxwell

I am sure that giving other's grace and assuming the best in others are keys to being a 'gentle' and kind spirit.  As I have become aware of this character flaw of mine, I will work on not judging people's outward appearance and their actions - but focusing on the heart, their intentions and the good in them -- just like Jesus does.  Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes and giving me strength and power to become more gentle, more grace-filled and more like You!

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  

Colossians 3:12

Timeless Advice

SOLD and CLOSED!

I just read our pastor's blog a bit ago and enjoyed reading a few scriptures he referenced from Deuteronomy about Moses instructing the people of Israel before they entered the promised land.  I became curious at what all Moses instructed them on, so I looked it up.  

I've compared several aspects of our journey over the past 19 months to what the Israelites experienced - constant/perfect provision from God, grumbling/complaining attitude, the need to remember what God has done for us...  So, I thought it'd be good for me to read up on what God wanted Moses to tell the Israelites after they were finally getting what they had sought after for so long.  He had quite a bit to instruct them on, but a few things stood out to me as timeless advice for us.

• Praise Him and give Him thanks!  When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Deuteronomy 8:10
• Don't forget Who got us here - Who worked it out for us.  Remember!!  Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.  Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.  He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions.  He brought you water out of hard rock.  He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you.  You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me."  But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today. Deuteronomy 8:11-18
• Worship the Lord, obey Him, love Him and serve Him.  And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and to observe the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?  Deuteronomy 10:12-13
• Guard against worshiping other gods - like money, relationships, things, hobbies, etc.  Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away and worship other gods and bow down to them. Deuteronomy 11:16
• Intentionally and regularly place the word of God in our hearts and minds and in our kids' hearts and minds.  Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-20

There's really nothing about these instructions that screams 'You-just-got-what-you-wanted-and-God-has-answered-your-prayers - you-had-better-be-on-guard!'  I wouldn't guess that we'd need to be especially on guard, but the Israelites sure were warned about a lot.  We need to take care to continue to cling to God like we have during our journey.  I can see a big exhale coming.  Relaxing...  slacking...  But we can not slack on our relationship with God...ever.  When I relax and am not diligent about guarding my heart and my mind, the devil can get in quietly and damage is done.   

In the past month while starting to relax some and waiting for our closing we have already been attacked in several ways.  We forgot His faithfulness - we started worrying.  But He quickly taught us the importance of revisiting and remembering His loving care for us.  I allowed a 'vacation' to begin once an offer was made on the house - it was unintentional, but it happened.  My reliance on Him relaxed and I wasn't diligent in my time with Him.  Slowly and quietly my mind was eaten up with lies and untruths about almost every area of my life.  Satan said, "Look here, she is relaxing, she is taking a break, and I know where I can get to her and make her ineffective for Christ.'  I was so thankful that last weekend God brought me to familiar scriptures through friends and books that He wanted me to camp on:  Philippians 4:6-9 says, 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.'

So, yes, this season is ending.  Finally.  Another begins though and we will always have struggles.  Circumstances shouldn't dictate our happiness.  Our faith in God will give us joy if we allow it to.  It has been hard, but God has taught us so much while shaping us into people who reflect Him a bit more clearly.  He has sustained us. God has done great things for us and we will sing for joy!  

Level Complete, Keep Playing!

A few video games have been played in our house this Christmas vacation.  I can hear the kids playing now - or at least the bickering anyway.  Jeff has been trying to complete one over the break, too - even having to listen to some tutorials online about how to get through certain parts.

I'm about the furthest thing from a 'gamer,' but here are a few things I've observed about video games:

• The games are challenging.  If Mario could take a leisurely stroll right up to the Princess without jumping over barrels or worrying about Donkey Kong, what would the point be?  If you could see the end and walk right to it with no bumps along the way - it would probably be considered a pretty lame game.  Would you improve your 'gaming' skills at all?

• Some games are easier if you have someone else to partner up with to help you through, give you hints or cheats, or work together to complete something. (As I hear Emily instructing Evan what to do as they try again.)

• Most games have complex levels/worlds/tasks to complete within the big game.  Once you have completed one, you go on to the next and you don't go back to the one before.

• There is an end, a prize, to all of them.  Whether it is a fun little song or your character dancing around, there is a sense of accomplishment when you have completed all the tasks, mastered all of the side-stories, and defeated all the enemies.

Looking back over this past year, we can probably identify several tasks and side-stories we had to complete and enemies we had to fend off.  We've been given second chances, or new lives, or forgiveness over and over. Other players have come along side us to help us through a hard spot so we didn't get hit in the knees by a rolling barrel or fall off the road into the dark.  We've helped other players, too, realizing that we are all playing together on the same team and for the same attainable prize. We've stumbled, we have fallen, we've made bad decisions, we have done the opposite of what we are supposed to do - and can't explain why.  We have learned something new each time we tried which will make it easier the next time. We have consulted the Writer of the game to see what He suggested we do - and feel privileged that the Creator of the game cares about how we play it.  It's best played if we don't look back to completed tasks, knowing that we can not change what has already been played and it will only distract us from our current performance.  Occasionally we've looked up and have seen the goal and it became downright overwhelming and we wondered if we will ever get there.  We've wondered if we should even continue!  Putting one foot in front of the other, picking up coin after coin monotonously became tiring at times.  Trying to figure out what the next step was has been painful.  We have been reminded that, as chosen players, we have a unique advantage - some 'cheats/help' which are already inside of us - in the form of our Helper.  As we've pressed through in level 2012, we have made improvements in ourselves, our abilities, our wisdom, and our skills. We have gotten one step closer to the prize and more like the One who wrote the game.  Our prize isn't just flashing lights and fun music - although I'm sure there will be a Light and music like none other!  Our prize is the ultimate Prize. And to hear the Writer say, "well played!" will be amazing!

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6