Confessions of a Tween's Mom - Eyes are Opened

Over the past couple of months I've been enlightened...well, a bit.  I've learned the definitions of 'fangirling' and 'bronies' and what it means to be 'friendzoned.'  So, I'm now super cool to my now 12 year old daughter...well, not really.

What I've really been clued in to is the crazy, crazy time that our kids are growing up in.  Emily's church youth group leaders had a brunch for moms of sixth grade girls a few weeks ago.  While there I learned that our girls are faced with bad language used by fellow classmates and friends.  The 'F' word, along with all the others, is being said around my Emily every day.  I am proud of her that she's made the decision for now that those words don't need to be said because they're nasty, but she still has to hear them come out of the mouths of most of the kids around her on a daily basis.  It was also shared that the seventh grade girls are dealing mostly with their friends and classmates being anxious, depressed, cutting themselves, and threatening suicide.  It seriously made me scared to hear this.  I left this get-together with my eyes beginning to be opened, but more was to come.  I recently was the 'adult' presence during an activity with Emily and a few other 12 year old girls.  One of them talked very freely about her friends who cut and want to die.  She also brought up the recent news about facebook adding more gender choices than just male and female - to which Emily said, "well that is silly, there are only two."  Right on, girl!  The concern for me continued as I had coffee with a friend who told me how her seventh grade son is dealing with friends who have shown him pornography and how there are sixth grade girls having babies.  Pick me up off the floor and fan me please....this mom has wide-open eyes now.

So, what do we do with this?  Like I said, my immediate response was to be scared for what our children are going to have to come up against.  I truly believe that they are going out into a war zone every day and we have GOT to equip them with the tools to fight well - instead of just being a P-E-S-T.

Pray:  I admit very ashamedly that I have not been praying for my children very often at all.  Prayer will bring  power to them through the Holy Spirit but it will also alleviate our fears and anxieties!  I pulled the book, "Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian, off of my shelf and dusted it off since I hadn't opened it since I received it when Evan was born.

"When we don't pray, it's like sitting on the side-lines watching our children in a war zone getting shot at from every angle.  When we do pray, we're in the battle alongside them, appropriating God's power on their behalf.  If we also declare the Word of God in our prayers, then we wield a powerful weapon against which no enemy can prevail."  (page 21)

Educate ourselves:  I laugh a lot that I 'live in a little Christian-bubble' with a perfect little life and am so naive to what goes on in the world - I look at people 'around here' and think they're all good - that there is nothing really evil going on.  I will not laugh about this any more.  It isn't funny nor cute that I'm 'sheltered.'  This is the point in my life that I need to educate myself to what kids are into.  What slang is what.  What they will face so I can talk to them before they face it.

Spend time together/be intentionally involved:  I just recently have told a few friends how Emily and I don't have a lot in common that we love to talk about.  But, she just read the Divergent book series and she loves to talk about what she's reading.  So, I started reading them too.  It gave us a nice way to talk through some of the books and a fun way to connect as the movie comes out later this month.  I am super-glad I did this.  Sometimes opportunities do not just pop up but we have to be intentional to be involved and to work at our relationships.  In some relationships this happens naturally, but in some it doesn't - especially with a hormone-raging, roller-coaster-of-emotions, highly-sensitive tween.  Intentionally schedule some time to do something that she enjoys together.

Talk with our kids:  After we came home from the event where I overheard the talk about cutting and suicide and genders, etc., I talked to her about it.  I asked her what she thought.  I asked her if any of her friends talked like that.  I assured her that she needs to tell me if any of her friends ever talked about hurting themselves.  Jeff has taken her out recently and asked her what her friends are into and who is doing what? We got that idea from a friend in our Lifegroup!  Jeff just talked to the kids about how he was experiencing some peer pressure with his friends recently and what he did to resolve that.  And I just told Emily how grumpy I was because I was tired last night.  Hopefully they are learning a little by example.  We have to keep that dialogue going.  I also had to have 'the talk' with Emily recently before sixth grade health class beat me to it.  I wanted her to hear it from us first and about what God says on the topic.  I knew if she didn't hear it from us it wasn't going to be taught to her at school!

I'm sure that those of you with older kids are way past this stage of eye-opening and have all kinds of ideas on how to keep our kids on the right track.  Please share your experiences with us embarking on this stage!  It definitely helps to talk to others and get ideas and counsel.  And I know that the Wednesday night youth group at our church has been so great for Emily this year - it's a confusing time for middle and high schoolers.  If you have a teen who would like to go, please let me know!  Jeff and I are definitely thankful that Emily has two extremely godly women leading her group at church who are available and invested in Emily's life.  I'm glad that Emily has another choice of someone to talk to...sometimes parents aren't quite enough.

The fear has been replaced for the moment with thankfulness that we have so many tools available to help in raising our children in this world.  2 Timothy 1:7 says, 'For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.'  My fear was/is not from God.  I know that with Him, we can rest in the truth in Proverbs 22:6, 'Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.'  And when the anxiety creeps in again:  'Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.' (Philippians 4:6)

He gave us our children for a reason.  He obviously thought we could do it.  We want to do a good job and I know you do, too!  We're far from perfect but we are learning and I'm so thankful that God is equipping us through His word and His people!

Target Practice

In December as I was having lunch with a friend, she threw out a question,  "Would nursing be what you would do if you could work and do anything?"  I feel like the correct answer should be "absolutely" - I mean, I went to school for it and have kept my license current and had just finished the continuing education hours.  I take a lot of pride in saying that I'm an RN.  It took a lot of work.  I enjoyed it while I did it.  I feel like I'm important when I tell people I'm a nurse (that's probably a whole other issue!)  But to be honest - it scares me now.  I have forgotten everything.  Except how to care.  Seriously, I was asked a simple question during a girl scout meeting the other night about head wounds and I wasn't sure of the answer...talk about embarrassing.  Luckily Emily wasn't embarrassed.  Whew!  Back to the question my friend posed:  I answered her honestly and said, "I'm not sure that it would be.  If I could do anything for work - it would be to have a little shabby chic boutique store and make my little painted signs."  But I really felt like that was a far-fetched idea.

I interviewed for another nursing job in December and I still haven't ever heard anything back - which is fine.  Yet, it makes me kind of sad.  I know that every year I don't work is one more year removed from the skills and makes it more likely that I'll have to take some kind of refresher courses in order to ever get back into it.  Yes, the money would be good.  But is that what I'm being called to do right now??  I'm not so sure.  I feel like being available to my family is THE single most important thing I can do.  And if I'm gone 8-9 hours a day I don't know that I can be what I need to be for them. Every nursing position door that I've managed to get my foot in since we've been here has been shut.  Not sure it is the answer.  And it doesn't make me excited to think about going back.

So, this month I've looked into the prices of renting booths to sell my handiwork.  There aren't many openings even though there are lots of shops and the rent is pricey.  I didn't even know if my stuff was cute - I'd only given it as gifts and you never know if people actually like it or are just being nice!   I decided to put pictures on my facebook page <---(click on that to see them) a week ago showing what I make and I started selling them and taking orders immediately!  I didn't even have it completely thought out and people were asking how much and whether I took orders!  Joy just flooded me.  I truly enjoy painting and making these little signs.  Yay!


Now...I wasn't able to start selling these signs without being intentional.  I've wanted to do it for a long time but hadn't done anything about it.  I finally took some steps and got it done after the conversation with my friend when I actually voiced my desire.

Last February I read a book by Anne Ortlund called "Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman."  It wasn't my favorite book ever.  But, I was very much challenged by the author to write down my LIFE PURPOSES, my LIFE GOALS, and my YEAR GOALS.  She pointed out the importance of writing them down.  There's something powerful about it.  It's intentional.  Once it's on paper I can review and revisit them and see them.  I can pray over them and ask God if it is still what He wants of me.  I made my life purposes more general like: Give generously, Trust blindly, Grow continually, etc.  My life goals are more specific like: go on a mission trip, write a Christian women's book, etc.  My year goals are very specific and are more of baby-steps to getting to my life goals at times: Continue blogging and praying about what to write, make daily time with God non-negotiable, etc.  I've loved having these written down so I have direction.  I re-wrote them in January this year and tweaked them a bit.  I pray over them often.

Seems like once God speaks to you about something, it comes up everywhere, right?  "If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time."  I've heard this quote a lot, but I was really convicted the last time I heard it said by Pastor Kevin.  SO true.  What am I aiming for?  What is life about?  Is it just getting up, going through the motions, hopefully having a few good moments, going to bed, doing it all over and over and over?  What am I trying to accomplish?  Mine and yours main life purposes should be to glorify God in all we do and to become more like Him.  If I haven't thought about it or written it down - been intentional  -- am I going to 'hit the mark?'

I am reading "A Confident Heart" by Renee Swope for my women's Bible Study right now.  Renee says, "When we don't know what our heart's desires are, we tend to spend our lives fulfilling the desires of others."  Ugh...what a waste!  I want to do what God wants me to do.  And what brings me joy too!  She adds, "But just as a target is designed to narrow the aim of an arrow, God uses the desires of our hearts to narrow the focus of where He wants our lives to make a mark for eternity."  I want my arrows to leave marks not just whiz around hitting nothing.  But if I don't have anything to aim at - what do I expect is going to happen?  If I don't know what the desires of my heart are??  Well, start by asking God.  He will reveal it.  It made me smile so big when my heart desire came to fruition with painting my signs and selling them!  My heart desire of writing my thoughts and feelings out became something I could do just by sitting down and doing it.  My heart desire of encouraging became something I could do just by taking the time (intentionally) to write a text, email or card out to a sister.

Our new lead pastor, Pastor Shane, (yay!!!!) talked about the importance of  family values a couple weekends ago.  He reminded us, "If we are not intentional to set our values then others around us will do it for us."  It was a great sermon showing us how powerful culture can be on our households.  If we do not talk about what our values are with our children - then the world will tell our children what their values should be.  That. is. scary.  He closed his sermon with a challenge to each of us to go home and establish our values as a family - beliefs that guide us as we seek to glorify God.  Some hints - be specific/not generic, support each value with a Bible verse (God's authority), and write the values out and hang them up (as a reminder and for accountability).

Sunday night the four of us sat down and discussed what we'd like to have as our family values.  We came up with six "We will..." statements that we supported with scripture and hung on a decorative tree thing in our hallway.  We decided on these values together and agreed that we all need to help each other stick to these values.  It had never even crossed my mind to do something like this.

So, this has been a lengthy post, one I've been wanting to write all month.  I've meditated on these subjects for weeks now and it has flowed out through my fingers so quickly.  A lot of times I still feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly in this life - wondering what I'm going to be when I grow up; wondering if I'm really doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm so thankful that God has shown me over the past year how important knowing and claiming and writing down what my purposes, goals, heart desires, and family values are.  And when I'm feeling like I'm not quite hitting the mark or feeling aimless...it doesn't really come down to whether I'm a nurse or I clean houses and make crafts...am I glorifying Him and making Him greater?

John 3:30  "He must become greater; I must become less."

 

Taking a Break from the What-If's

I was reflecting yesterday about howI used to spend large amounts of time worrying about things that had already happened.  Like...how I could have reacted differently in situations.  Or I replayed hurtful words from others over and over in my mind.  I was stuck in the past and was wasting time and energy on things that I could not change.  Over the past years I've gotten a handle on this with God's help, not to say I don't find myself dwelling on the past at times, but I'm not wasting away my years by obsessing about the past.  I'm moving on, confident of the hope in Jesus, forgiveness and grace lavished by Him...

So why did I start thinking about what I used to do?  Because I found it kind of weird that now I'm doing the opposite - I'm worrying about the future instead of the past.  Recently I've found myself throwing large amounts of time toward thinking about and planning out future scenarios - how things are going to play out...I'm not exactly obsessing or myself sick on it, but I'm spending a lot of time thinking about it..and worrying about how things will work out and all the details it will ensue - being the planner (aka control freak) that I am!

“You can’t worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you’ll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can’t worship God and Money both.

“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. 

“Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.  (Matthew 6:24-34, The Message)

This passage (I know, it's long, but it's SO good in The Message version!  Don't you agree?)  I've read many times and it just came to mind.   Well, the last verse is actually what came to mind - and I had to google it because I couldn't remember where it was.  But the first verse about not being able to serve two masters/gods is interesting...it mentions money but you can replace it with anything - in this certain case -- 'my own control' must be my god...  Ouch.  Jeff and I both had job interviews in December and we've not heard anything yet.  I have planned out/played out every scenario in my head of what happens if and when or if not and is it right or wrong?  Yet, we've not been offered anything yet.  And just this week there has been a buzz about school redistricting.  We moved into this particular neighborhood because of the schools that our children would attend.  We are on the line of moving to a different school - which would still be a good school, but not nearly as acclaimed as where we are.  This also could cause our house value to plummet.  The school board has not revealed which neighborhoods will be affected - this will happen next week.  But, of course, I'm scouring the numbers that they have released, researching the potential schools we may end up at and thinking through all of the things this might mean for us.  So...much of my last week or so has been useless.  Useless in the sense that all those thoughts I've had could have been filled with prayer for us or others or praise for what God has done or is doing.  I can not do a thing by getting worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.  None of us are even promised tomorrow.

The part in the above scriptures "What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving."  I need to hear that!  Relax!  I can look to the future and be prepared and see if there is any action I can take, but beyond that - the thinking and worrying -- it's useless.  I'm worshiping 'my own control' instead of turning these situations over to God who has complete control and knows my future.  Do I trust Him with it?  I know I sure do make a mess out of things often when on my own.  And so many times my knee-jerk reaction of what I think we need is not really the best for us.  He promises to be there to help me when hard things come.  I trust Him, but I need help with my unbelief, Jesus!!  So, what am I doing with today?  Am I wasting it by dwelling on the 'what if's' or the past?  If so, then I'm unavailable to be used by Him.  Today I choose to fill my mind with praise that God has me in the palm of His hand, He has good plans for us and He will be there in hard times.  I choose to fill my mind with prayers of 'how do you want to use me today for your purposes, God?  I choose right now...this moment...not yesterday or tomorrow...and I relax.

Image courtesy of dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The God of Every Story

He's the God of every story.  2013...I have friends who this year have lost a parent or a baby.  I have friends who have separated from their spouses.  I have friends who have gotten diagnoses that were unexpected.  Friends who have lost a job and their income.  Those are big things.  Hard things.  God is in the middle of those things...and He is carrying them - or He's available to carry them if they choose to let Him.

In a county outside of Charlotte on December 1st, a man, Marcus, was shot in the head when he arrived home while burglars were there.  His wife, pregnant with their first child, and family updated their facebook page, 'Praying for Marco,' with this on Friday after they had to make the decision to take him off of life support:  "Marcus burst into heaven at 12:52 p.m. Our loss is so painful, but we know this was gain for Marcus. Tears and grief are eased by the gentle hand of God, holding us, carrying us, wiping our tears. 'As for God, His way is perfect.'"  What a testimony to so many...He's the God of every story.

What about the friends who have a child who has left home for college or military, whose kids are rebelling, a parent in poor health, who have struggled with physical pain, who are trying to determine whether to go back to work or not, who have wrestled with anxiety or depression this year..  What about those who feel like there just isn't a way that ends are going to meet?  Every single thing we go through...we can trust Him.

At the beginning of the month, I was blessed to be able to go to a girl's night out that Renee Swope and Laura Story were at.  Laura sang a song that really made me think a lot.  "God of Every Story" has examples of real people woven through it. (click on the title to hear it)  It also talks about Laura's husband, Martin, and his brain tumor diagnosis seven years ago.  She sings, "You're the God of every story, You see each tear that falls.  We may not understand but one thing is certain.  You are faithful, You are faithful."  As she gives example after example and I sit and think over my friends and acquaintances and what they've faced this year alone.  What Jeff and I've faced this year.  I know for certain... "His ways are higher than we could ever comprehend.  When our world is shaking,  He holds us in the palm of His hand."  It is frustrating beyond belief sometimes that we don't have understanding of 'why' things that happen happen.  But faith is faith because we don't have all the answers!

This morning at church, Pastor Geoffrey taught out of Isaiah 7.  God sent Isaiah to tell Ahaz, who was scared because of the circumstances around him,  "‘Be careful, keep calm and don’t be afraid. Do not lose heart." (Isaiah 7:4)  And in 7:9 God says, "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."  God then says that He will send Ahaz a sign...verse 7:14 says, "Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel."  Immanuel means 'God with us.'  God has given each and every one of us a sign that He loves us and is with us - that He is the God of every one of our stories.  Jesus.  Because of Him, we have hope.  We can believe and trust that there is more.  More than this.  We have hope.  Even through the pain and the tears and hurts of this life...we have a hope - His name is Jesus...and in Him we have eternal life in community with the Creator of the universe and all other believers, in a place (heaven) where there will be no tears or pain or hurts.

If your story isn't going the way you thought it would...if you are scared or frustrated.  Ask Jesus to be with you.  Let Him know that you need Him, that you can't do this life without Him.  That you are sorry for trying to do it on your own.  And allow His power to enter in and guide you as your story in this life plays out and you draw nearer to eternity.  Celebrate the gift of Jesus, Immanuel, 'God with us' in your story.

Image courtesy of digidreamgrafix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Merry Christmas from the Kissels!

Dear Family and Friends,

Wow!  Has it been another year?  I can hardly believe the end of 2013 is approaching!  As you think of a tree, this year has been one of sending down roots and growing outward for our family.  We were planted here in North Carolina 2 1/2 years ago now.  The ties and stakes have been taken off and our surroundings have become home.  Here is the 2013 Kissel Family Update:

We began the year owning two homes still!  But in March we were so excited to end that 19 month trial in our lives and close on the sale of our Indiana home.  God was still in every detail of our move here - even though our house didn't sell quickly.  He used this time to grow each one of us in our faith and trust of Him as Provider, to teach us a little about His timing, patience, and to be generous - as others had been to us.  It was not a fun time, but we are better for going through it.

This summer we were able to take a fun family vacation to the Outer Banks in North Carolina.  First we took a small? detour up the coast to Delaware to see our friend Scott.  We visited Dogfish Head Brewery, ate blue crab, walked the boardwalk at Rehoboth Beach, and saw wild ponies at Assateauge Island, Maryland.  We also drove under the ocean in the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel.  Eek.  The Outer Banks were perfect - just sitting on the beach listening to the waves.  Jeff and I snuck out early one morning and watched the sunrise.  We saw the Wright Brothers museum, Roanoke Island, and one of the many lighthouses.

Jeff and I spent a night in Asheville, North Carolina after dropping the kids off in Indiana this summer to spend a week with the grandparents.  We visited several microbrews and did some shopping and driving on the Blue Ridge Parkway in the mountains.






In August we were blessed with an unexpected trip to Hilton Head Island for a few days.  Again, the family enjoyed the beach...until Evan was stung by a jelly fish many times and minutes later sharks were sighted in that same area!  We enjoyed the pools after that!  This trip was one of relaxing, but we did eat at The Salty Dog Cafe - which you can't not do while there.  Beautiful island...wonderful memories.


Miss Emily turned 11 in February, got braces in April, and 'graduated' grade school in June.  She started middle school in August and didn't skip a beat... adjusting within a week.  She started band this year, taking after her mama and playing the flute - quite well I might add.  She is enjoying her Cadette Girl Scout troop this year...it's almost cookie time - you'll be hearing from her soon!  She also is loving Wednesday night youth group at church - there are many other sixth grade girls and they are doing a great job building wonderful relationships with each other.

Little Evan turned 9 in May.  He is finding that third grade is a little more serious and is learning how to put forth his best effort in everything he does.  He...and thus Jeff... joined cub scouts this fall.  So far the boys are enjoying this time together.  They've even gone tent camping..something I never thought I'd see Jeff do.


Jeff still enjoys rooting on his Hoosiers...we meet people from Indiana here often because he's always sporting his swag.  Still my chef, baker, joker, and love of my life...can't imagine life without him.  This year he and some buddies started a podcast, Charlotte Beercast, which is a 'talk show' about craft beer.  He's enjoyed this and getting to know the Charlotte brewers.  This fall Jeff and I launched a new Life Group and have been so blessed already as we've grown to love these five other families.  Jeff spent a weekend somewhere in the NC mountains being manly this fall for a men's retreat and had a great time too.

In January I began cleaning homes a few times a week and have continued to all year long - it's been a blessing for us and I've met some special families through this!  Still involved at school, but not as much. This year I've loved getting more plugged into our church family this year - through a leadership group, a Bible study, our Life Group and serving I've made some awesome sister friends.  Around August it was like a switch was flipped for me and I suddenly found myself feeling completely at home here as the mourning was over!  In October I shared up on stage for about twenty minutes during a women's event...willingly - If you knew me in high school - that is a shocker! ;)  It was a neat experience, allowing God to work through me.  I'm still enjoying writing my blog (which now that you've found your way here I invite you to keep up with us here all year!), crafting and landscaping when I have the time.

This year has been filled with highs and lows...obviously I've written all about the good parts of 2013 and left out the melt downs, bad attitudes, hurts, tears and pain.  Please don't be fooled into thinking our life is perfect.  Our circumstances aren't always good ones, but we have hope and joy in our Lord Jesus Christ. Our attitudes aren't always good ones, but we have forgiveness because of Jesus.

One day He will arrive to gather us home...we hope and pray that you have accepted Jesus as your Savior. Time is short.  As we celebrate this season, take some time to think about Who we are celebrating.  He gave us a way out..a replacement...someone else to pay for what we've done.  Why?  Because He loves you and wants to save you.  As you think on these truths, please contact us if you have questions about them.  Celebrate and sing, "Joy to World, The Lord has Come!" and enjoy the moments of 2014!

Love,
Jeff, Amy, Emily, and Evan

You'll Come!

Seems like as of late, I carry around in my head a tune - it is a constant song in there...and it is typically a song that we sing praising the Lord at church the prior weekend.  Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  So, having a good, true, and lovely song stuck in my head is a good thing!  I just hope that my kids don't start singing "What Does The Fox Say" and mess my peaceful head up!

This week it is "You'll Come" by Hillsong.  This morning I sat down and looked at the lyrics closely and it was such a comfort and reminder to me in this season.

The first words in the song - "I have decided, I have resolved to wait upon you Lord."  - Yup, need to work on this.  Still.  We seem to always need to be reminded to be patient and wait on the Lord's timing.  Why do we always try to do it ourselves.  We've got it.  We know best. Scoot over, because I'm in a bad spot and I want my way - NOW!

"We are not shaken, We are not moved, We wait upon you Lord."  - Again, I don't want to sound like things are bleak and hopeless, but the season that our family is in is not a pleasant one.  And as I look around and listen to prayer requests from our brothers and sisters, I see the pain and struggles that others are shouldering right now.  Wow.  This life is not fun sometimes, right?  As a friend reminded me gently yesterday, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." (Isaiah 43:2, emphasis added).  One of these years I hope to get better at walking above our circumstances - to be like the tree that is rooted by a stream whose leaves never wither with drought. (Psalm 1:3).  I'm certain we will continue to have opportunities in the remaining years on earth to exercise this skill of being content in all circumstances and not letting the circumstances bring us down - and not being bitter or surprised when things aren't going smoothly.  He says we will pass through rivers and walk through fire, but He tells us plainly that we will not be hurt by the outside chaos around us (IF we have our eyes on Him and not on that chaos.)  Blink long.  Refocus.

This song talks a lot about waiting for the Lord - and I am relating it to our preset situation that we don't necessarily want to be in...BUT, I think that the overall message is we're waiting on His perfect timing for Jesus to come back and gather His sheep up.  "As surely as the sun will rise, You'll come to us, Certain as the dawn appears, You'll Come."  "Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again.  You'll come, you'll come."  -Ahh!  A begging to God to rain His Spirit down and overflow our parched hearts...again.  To be filled to overflowing, flooded.  Yes, please.  It makes it all better.  Like I said, man, this life is hard...for so many.  This song is so encouraging to me- so much hope...He is worth having our hope in and He will come!  We must have faith that He will respond to us (answer us) and fill us up while we are living life here - sometimes feeling as we're barely hanging on.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Corinthians 4:17)

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18) 

So, while we are here.  Rejoice that we have a hope and an eternal glory!  Have faith.  He'll come.  This too shall pass.  Share the good news...there's something better than this...

"Chains be broken, Lives be healed, Eyes be opened, Christ is revealed."

Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sharing a Snapshot

I've always wanted to get some outdoor family pictures taken by a photographer.  We finally did it last weekend!  I've been talking to my talented friend, Maura, about it for over a year.  The process of coordinating the outfits, slicking down the hair and instructions began.   "Evan, don't touch the cats...and don't lean your head back."  And as I noticed that Emily took the opportunity to experiment with blue eye shadow with ten minutes left to spare, I suggested that I help her blend, which caused hysterical tears.  "God help us!"  Jeff had a headache and I insisted that he was mad about something.  The drive there revealed that Evan's shirt was actually falling apart.  There were threats of turning around and going home if attitudes didn't improve.  That always helps - demanding that everyone be happy...  We arrived so that Maura could capture our 'happy and relaxed' moments together as a loving family.  Sigh...

Pictures have never been relaxed for me.  I spend way too much time preparing and making us look just perfect and instructing everyone on what to do and not do.  Then we all paste our smiles on and look like the perfect little family.

I started thinking this morning about what would happen if we framed the moments that aren't planned and perfect, but the everyday moments - the moments leading up to the one that has the camera on us.  Taking a snapshot of our everyday life - what would that look like?  Ouch.

Um...no?  Not cute.

In Matthew 5:16 Jesus wants us to represent Him well:  "let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."  We need to remember that our actions, both good and not so lovely, are on display - like pictures - for others to see.  People are watching us, watching us to see how we handle completely frustrating situations and moments when our kids take us to the end of our rope.  When we do mess up, what do we do afterwards?  Do we scramble to make it look like we didn't?  Or do we humbly and truly ask for forgiveness from others?  How do we represent Christ in the everyday moments?  When we don't think anyone is looking.  Something I need to think about!  If my candid photos/videos (the informal snapshots taken without my knowledge) were posted on facebook could I be a good witness for Christ?  Ouch again.

Ok, let's switch gears a bit and look at this in a totally different way:  we are pretty good at displaying the professionally edited portrait of our lives -- the "everything is going well, our family is perfect, we don't have problems." (as in picture below!)  It's the candid snapshots that we aren't as willing to reveal because they are messy.  But...people are relieved to find out that you don't actually have it all together but struggle the same as they do.  All of a sudden you become real and approachable because no one is perfect.  I don't know about you, but I'd rather spend time with someone who is honest than someone who insists that she has it all together and everything is great - when it isn't.

A few weeks ago, I nervously shared my own messy snapshots to a group of women at church, revealing my weaknesses, my sins, and my imperfections.  God wanted me to do this because as I purposefully shared my 'messy,' I was also able to share how God uses the messy and the broken to make beautiful things.  He is in the business of making beautiful things out of the dust.  He was gracious in allowing me to see that my obedience in sharing touched a few and made them stronger by not feeling alone in their own struggles.

This week the Kissel family was under spiritual attack - this is all I can use to explain the darkness that entered into the house and the hopelessness felt.  I could have pasted on my edited smile but I was real and said, 'we need help' to my friends in Christ.  It's hard to display this type of picture to others - the one of weakness.  Prayers from our army helped us come through stronger and unscathed.

Sharing the 'imperfections' in our lives, in the right way mind you, can help God's Kingdom grow in number and become strengthened.

My prayer out of all my ramblings this morning is this:  that we will have more candid, behind the scenes, everyday snapshots that are a great witness for Christ.  That we aren't afraid to share the messy photos if it might help a brother or sister or ourselves.  That we would have big smiles, not because everything in our lives are perfect, but because God is shining through us.

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:5)