Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Open Sores - In More Than One Way

I can not believe how the weather has changed so quickly!  We got sunburned sitting outside on Saturday during Evan's first baseball game.  We had to turn the a/c on and mow the grass.  It's like full fledged summer already!  The grass and trees are so pretty.  We've been working a lot on the landscaping in the backyard.  It is so therapeutic for me to go outside and pull some weeds and get my hands dirty.  Isn't that weird?  Of course now I have a huge blister on my hand - that is not so therapeutic. 

We accepted and signed an offer this past week that will allow a buyer to rent from us and then purchase the house within 9 months.  God answered our prayers, but once again it was not in our time frame and it was not the answer in the neat perfect little gift wrapped package that we expected!  When He answered our prayers after praying for years for a different job/promotion for Jeff - it wasn't exactly what we had planned to move to NC - but it was still an answer to prayer!!  And one that has been good for us!
Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  
We did not like the idea of renting, but this is the best of both worlds for us and the buyer.  Financially we will be good - rent covering our mortgage.  And the contract that was signed is for the purchase of the home...so it is a binding contract.  While we wish it was all done and over with and we were not going to own two homes for the next 9 months, God has provided for us and He has given us peace about this decision as each little detail about this deal has worked in our favor.  Halleluiah!

Some of you know that I have had some problems lately.  I had to have an ultrasound today and they found what I 'knew' (you know when something isn't right) - two cysts on my left ovary.  One is actually 2 inches big and fluid filled.  The other is smaller, but might be the endometrioma that I had problems with 8 years ago when I was trying to get pregnant with Evan.  The doctor wants to wait 8 weeks and do another ultrasound and see what happens.  Sometimes they go away - sometimes they burst (which apparently doesn't hurt much??) - sometimes they get bigger and cause problems.  The doctor will talk to me at that time what I need to do.  So, just waiting to see.

We are excited what God is going to do through our 'new' small group.  The Life Group we joined in January had about 13-14 couples and their children in it.  Needless to say it was a little overwhelming walking in to that and not knowing anyone.  Well, the time came Sunday that the groups had to 'birth' and become two.  It is neat that all of the couples Jeff and I felt we had connected with are ones that will be in our group.  The leaders of the group are the ones that originally invited us to come and Evan and their son are on the same baseball team this season.  Pastor Rob talked about community yesterday at church - he even asked how many people didn't have family here in Charlotte - almost everyone raised their hand.  Our church family will be our family here.  It is important for us to be part of a healthy community here. Unfortunately I have already been reminded what is not healthy for us.  It grieves me to think how I am starting over completely and having to trust people who I don't know very well and are sure to let me down (because ALL humans will let us down - they are incapable of meeting my needs - only He can do that!). At this point I am going to focus on my relationship with God and His complete acceptance and love for me.  I have been very humbly reminded of my fear to be alone - to not be needed or included.  I hurt - like an open wound.  But, I admit it - that I have a need for significance - like every single one of us - and now I am going to let my Father love on me for awhile.  Very thankful for our Life Group and my Bible Study Group - no, we don't know anyone in these groups that well yet - but we know their hearts and their similar-mindedness - thankful and prayerful for what is to come with our 'family' here.  Resting in His loving arms.

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