Tuesday, October 23, 2012

In Good Times and In Bad

Winter's cold is chilling, while summer's sun brings warmth.  However, all sunshine and no rain make a desert.  Each season has a purpose.  "Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart" (Gal. 6:9)   (Taken from "Live Beautifully: A Study in the Books of Ruth and Esther" by Lenya Heitzig & Penny Rose)
A very beautiful, tiring weekend we had.  A flight to St. Louis to share in time spent with family, an intimate exchange of vows and a wonderful time of fellowship - meeting people who live life with Jason and Jenny.  I was overwhelmed with happiness for another person.
I gave up and bought waterproof mascara half way through the weekend since my eyes just seemed to keep leaking!  God has blessed Jenny with an incredible man after a season - 'in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.'   God has also done amazing things in her through the seasons of her life.  I have grown to love her like a sister over these years, yet I don't know her as a sister.  And as I spoke with person after person this weekend about her and her sweet spirit...I started to ache.  After years of having no siblings, I have had a sister for 14 years but I have not taken advantage of that!  I now have a renewed purpose of wanting to truly know her and to create sisterly bonds - and brotherly, too!  I'm thankful that God has placed these two in my life - and even though they live 12 hours away I am asking God to make them seem close as we build our relationship with them!
Jason & Jenny
Now, as I said, it was a beautiful AND tiring weekend.  When I get tired, I get, well...um...crazy might be a good word?  By Sunday afternoon's flight home, after little sleep the night before, I allowed the devil to get a foothold.  Unfortunately he knows he can get me when I haven't slept.  And suddenly, my sharing of happiness and love turned into jealousy and discontent.  This is hard for me to write - I do not want to be that way.  So ugly.  I am human though.  And knowing that confessing your sins to others sends Satan running and makes me more real - I'm sharing.  Most every aspect of my life was just not good enough or exciting enough.  Thankfully by Monday, after soundly sleeping in my own bed and having some time with God, my heart is mostly back to where it should be.  But I have definitely noted that discontent and comparison is a big struggle for me since we have moved.  It just keeps coming up. 

God gave me something to meditate on yesterday.  'Thankfulness is the antidote to envy.'  Yes, yes it is.  What had I thanked Him for lately?  Um, it had been a few days.  Focus on Him.  Focus off of me.  He also reminded me again that there are seasons for everything.  Each season has a purpose.  I can't just have sunshine or my life would be a desert.  My season now is different than other people's.  There is a time for every purpose under heaven.  A time for sweet beginnings - a time for bumpy middles.  A time for plenty - a time for want.  Thankfulness for the moment and for this season and for what I have now...that is the key.  And much like the wedding vows Jeff and I exchanged 14 years ago and we heard this weekend repeated sweetly - there will be times of plenty and of want, sickness and health, good times and bad times.  Seasons come and change - as sure as the sun will rise.   
There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Father, give me strength in this season as I wait for You.  Keep my focus on you alone - not others. Help me to serve others, rejoice with others, and weep with others purely.  Continue to mold and shape my heart - I want to be more like You.  Help me through this season of healing, building up, weeping, and mourning.  A time of dancing, laughing, and gain You promise.  Lord, protect me from the evil one as he is whispering to me what I am not and what I lack.  Remind me what I am and what I have!  Help me to recall Your word as defense.  Please send me friends to support me in this season and keep my heart thankful always.  Amen.   


  1. Nicely said Amy. I am also so happy for Jenny and Jason but yet wish I had someone wonderful in my life. Is that jealousy? I see you with your beautiful children and wish I was younger and Jonathon was still little. Maybe that is jealousy too. I have to remember I've had my time and now it belongs to you and Jeff, Jenny and Jason. Treasure every second of every day, it goes by so so fast. It was so good to see all of you this weekend. I love all of you more than you know.

  2. I spent some time thinking about your question - a friend of mine also asked "Well, isn't it okay to want what others have?" Jealousy is defined as 'Feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.' Covet is defined as 'Yearn to possess or have (something).' God says in His word not to covet - Exodus 20:17 says “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.” So, I think if it is something that we dwell on, that makes us feel discontent with what we have been blessed with, something that we long for or obsess about not having - then yes, it is coveting or jealousy. But, it is ok to want what someone else has - if it is just a healthy passing thought of - 'I'd really like to have something like that too. I'm going to make a plan of how to succeed and get that.'

    You hit the nail on the head, Angie - we've had our time, and those seasons belong to others now. Our season of THAT particular time is over, BUT God is blessing us with other awesome seasons that we are ready for now! Thank you for the reminder to treasure every day - it does go fast and I am realizing that. Realizing how blessed I am that God is NOT giving me a job right now. Loving my babies is my job!

    Glad to see you too! Love you too!