I have told many of you over the last few weeks, "my heart is at home still, but I am willing to do what I need to for my family and go where God leads me." I guess I'm having a hard time as to where God is leading - I know I need to sit back and remain faithful. Sit back - as in BE PATIENT. Nothing new here. But I also know that I need to continue having action with my faith - continue trying - continue pursuing other ideas, etc.
Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day. -Psalm 25:5I've been applying for nursing jobs for two months now. I've been to one interview for the 12 hour prn night position on a med surg floor at the Monroe hospital - 20 minutes from home. That was a month ago. Two weeks ago the nurse manager said she would be scheduling a peer interview with me asap. I sent her an email to follow up this weekend. I haven't heard back yet. Recently I looked at the other jobs I had applied for online at the hospitals - the majority of them have been filled or my resume rejected/filed. That was rather disheartening - making me feel as though since it has been 13 years since I worked in a hospital that most don't want the 'liability.' I am feeling as though this door may be closing. Jeff thinks I am just being hard on myself. And this has become quite an area of dissension between us.
I have been in contact with a local online parent newsletter - Macaroni Kids Waxhaw Union County. The lady running this website, which informs parents of what is going on in the area, needs several to sell advertising for her site. I sent her my resume and she is supposed to talk to me this afternoon. I get 35% of what I sell and have no quotas to fulfill - I can work on it on my own time - when I can.
Our local Target is hiring, as well - it is literally right down the road. It seems as though I can set my own hours - 7-2 most days would be doable if I am even considered (I have heard that I may be 'overqualified'). I applied online on Friday night for this.
Please pray for God to bring clarity to the situation - for me to only walk through doors that I am meant to. I am scared that I will say yes to something and regret it. He knows what is meant for our family - knowing that my utmost responsibility is to be available to my family. He is a God of provision. He has provided for us so far and will continue to. He will provide opportunities for me to help out with our families finances, or He will do it on His own. Please Lord, once again, take this burden from me, as I cast all my anxieties on You because You care for me.
Ok, now that I have allowed myself to be counseled a bit...I need to update you on our happenings here in NC. I was driving down the road on a normal morning the other day - and I was suddenly hit - "I live in North Carolina." It had been a long time since I had one of those mind-jarring moments. And it was neat. I spent a little while reflecting back over the past year and all the blessings we've gotten to experience. So thankful for this change of scenery in our lives. He is good.
Jeff is looking forward to seeing our friend Scott this coming weekend while he visits us. Jeff is coaching Emily's soccer team through the local YMCA. Both he and Emily are having a good season. She is doing great and enjoying it again.
Emily is liking fifth grade and the extras that come with it. She has matured quite a bit just since school has started...I wonder though too, if it doesn't have to do with me taking extra time to spend with her. She is making some good friends and is looking forward to going on an overnight 'retreat' in SC with other fourth and fifth graders from church in a few weekends.
Evan is liking second grade I think. He has a hard time getting his homework done. He gets distracted so easily and it is a 'process' each day to get it done. He is playing baseball again...advanced machine pitch for his age. He absolutely loves it. Jeff and I are struggling though with whether to let him keep doing it. The coaches get exasperated at times with his lack of skill (definitely not effort though) and the other boys have made fun of him several times. It is disheartening. Maybe something less competitive would be the right option. You hate to take him out of it if he loves it, but as these boys become better and better and more competitive I'm not sure it is going to work out for us.
|Jeff and I at Charlotte's Oktoberfest last weekend|
Speaking of church...it is good - we are confident in our decision to stay at Southbrook and continue to feel the Holy Spirit each time we are there. He is going to do great things there!
We are also so excited to be traveling soon to St. Louis to be with Jeff's sister as she is married to a wonderful, godly man, Jason.
I have been reading One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. And she has opened my eyes to the importance of being thankful in all things. There are gifts from God in every single thing and every single situation. A new friend and I started our own gratitude journals, beginning with "Similarities shared within budding friendships." I've since added, birds singing in the morning, the smell of disturbed dirt, homemade lentil soup from a friend for my lunch, the way Emily and Evan still hold on to their stuffed animals so tight while they sleep, generous and loving parents, a new recipe made for dinner that everyone raved about, and many more. I am being intentional trying to find the good in every situation. And as I started writing this blog entry, worried about what to do and lazy by the cold gray day, I am now reminded to search for the good. Thank you Lord, for allowing my mind be cleared by writing, for a warm home/shelter, for children who love each other and protect each other, our Evansville home being rented and cared for, and for Your living word/truth which brings me comfort.