Confessions of a Tween's Mom - Eyes are Opened

Over the past couple of months I've been enlightened...well, a bit.  I've learned the definitions of 'fangirling' and 'bronies' and what it means to be 'friendzoned.'  So, I'm now super cool to my now 12 year old daughter...well, not really.

What I've really been clued in to is the crazy, crazy time that our kids are growing up in.  Emily's church youth group leaders had a brunch for moms of sixth grade girls a few weeks ago.  While there I learned that our girls are faced with bad language used by fellow classmates and friends.  The 'F' word, along with all the others, is being said around my Emily every day.  I am proud of her that she's made the decision for now that those words don't need to be said because they're nasty, but she still has to hear them come out of the mouths of most of the kids around her on a daily basis.  It was also shared that the seventh grade girls are dealing mostly with their friends and classmates being anxious, depressed, cutting themselves, and threatening suicide.  It seriously made me scared to hear this.  I left this get-together with my eyes beginning to be opened, but more was to come.  I recently was the 'adult' presence during an activity with Emily and a few other 12 year old girls.  One of them talked very freely about her friends who cut and want to die.  She also brought up the recent news about facebook adding more gender choices than just male and female - to which Emily said, "well that is silly, there are only two."  Right on, girl!  The concern for me continued as I had coffee with a friend who told me how her seventh grade son is dealing with friends who have shown him pornography and how there are sixth grade girls having babies.  Pick me up off the floor and fan me please....this mom has wide-open eyes now.

So, what do we do with this?  Like I said, my immediate response was to be scared for what our children are going to have to come up against.  I truly believe that they are going out into a war zone every day and we have GOT to equip them with the tools to fight well - instead of just being a P-E-S-T.

Pray:  I admit very ashamedly that I have not been praying for my children very often at all.  Prayer will bring  power to them through the Holy Spirit but it will also alleviate our fears and anxieties!  I pulled the book, "Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian, off of my shelf and dusted it off since I hadn't opened it since I received it when Evan was born.

"When we don't pray, it's like sitting on the side-lines watching our children in a war zone getting shot at from every angle.  When we do pray, we're in the battle alongside them, appropriating God's power on their behalf.  If we also declare the Word of God in our prayers, then we wield a powerful weapon against which no enemy can prevail."  (page 21)

Educate ourselves:  I laugh a lot that I 'live in a little Christian-bubble' with a perfect little life and am so naive to what goes on in the world - I look at people 'around here' and think they're all good - that there is nothing really evil going on.  I will not laugh about this any more.  It isn't funny nor cute that I'm 'sheltered.'  This is the point in my life that I need to educate myself to what kids are into.  What slang is what.  What they will face so I can talk to them before they face it.

Spend time together/be intentionally involved:  I just recently have told a few friends how Emily and I don't have a lot in common that we love to talk about.  But, she just read the Divergent book series and she loves to talk about what she's reading.  So, I started reading them too.  It gave us a nice way to talk through some of the books and a fun way to connect as the movie comes out later this month.  I am super-glad I did this.  Sometimes opportunities do not just pop up but we have to be intentional to be involved and to work at our relationships.  In some relationships this happens naturally, but in some it doesn't - especially with a hormone-raging, roller-coaster-of-emotions, highly-sensitive tween.  Intentionally schedule some time to do something that she enjoys together.

Talk with our kids:  After we came home from the event where I overheard the talk about cutting and suicide and genders, etc., I talked to her about it.  I asked her what she thought.  I asked her if any of her friends talked like that.  I assured her that she needs to tell me if any of her friends ever talked about hurting themselves.  Jeff has taken her out recently and asked her what her friends are into and who is doing what? We got that idea from a friend in our Lifegroup!  Jeff just talked to the kids about how he was experiencing some peer pressure with his friends recently and what he did to resolve that.  And I just told Emily how grumpy I was because I was tired last night.  Hopefully they are learning a little by example.  We have to keep that dialogue going.  I also had to have 'the talk' with Emily recently before sixth grade health class beat me to it.  I wanted her to hear it from us first and about what God says on the topic.  I knew if she didn't hear it from us it wasn't going to be taught to her at school!

I'm sure that those of you with older kids are way past this stage of eye-opening and have all kinds of ideas on how to keep our kids on the right track.  Please share your experiences with us embarking on this stage!  It definitely helps to talk to others and get ideas and counsel.  And I know that the Wednesday night youth group at our church has been so great for Emily this year - it's a confusing time for middle and high schoolers.  If you have a teen who would like to go, please let me know!  Jeff and I are definitely thankful that Emily has two extremely godly women leading her group at church who are available and invested in Emily's life.  I'm glad that Emily has another choice of someone to talk to...sometimes parents aren't quite enough.

The fear has been replaced for the moment with thankfulness that we have so many tools available to help in raising our children in this world.  2 Timothy 1:7 says, 'For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.'  My fear was/is not from God.  I know that with Him, we can rest in the truth in Proverbs 22:6, 'Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.'  And when the anxiety creeps in again:  'Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.' (Philippians 4:6)

He gave us our children for a reason.  He obviously thought we could do it.  We want to do a good job and I know you do, too!  We're far from perfect but we are learning and I'm so thankful that God is equipping us through His word and His people!

Enjoying This Moment He Gave Me

I've gone and done it again...  One day I will learn that not all 'good' activities are necessarily the 'best' for me to participate in!  Overwhelmed with the amount of entries on my calendar.  And reflecting on how the past six weeks or so have been a blur - what a waste!  Each day I wake and vow to 'get through' it, falling into bed exhausted each night.  For a few weeks I have repeated, 'something needs to change.'  And so now, after praying - "Lord, please help me to know what to prune, the activities that aren't necessary - and especially the ones that aren't pleasing to you." - I scaled back my commitments.

Am I a bad girl or a failure because I can't keep all the balls in the air that I'm trying to juggle?  No.  In fact, when I decided last week what needed to 'go' - a weight was lifted and I was lighter and freer and more at peace.  Ah!  Confirmation that this was okay with God - that this was pleasing to Him - even though it was a good-God-activity that I eliminated!

My friend Jenny sent me this that she wrote years ago:

Are you a “super server”?  Are you involved in any and every service you can find?  This is a good way to burn out on serving the Lord in any capacity.  Service looks like a good thing, and it can be, but if your hyper active system of serving God is simply for the sake of being involved and not for the purpose of furthering His purposes, then you’re in the wrong place.  He will accomplish his purposes, but he doesn’t need YOU to do it.  He LETS us be involved so we can get glimpses of who He is in the lives of others.  Do not be mistaken by thinking that you’re doing Him a favor.  It is so the other way around.  Before you do anything for God, pray earnestly about what his purposes for that activity are and how and if he wants you to be involved.  If he does, he’ll make the way clear and provide both the opportunity and the energy to do the task right.  

My overwhelming desire right now may sound corny to some, but it is truly my heart's desire.  It is to enjoy each moment.  To be thankful for each moment.  To not let life pass me by.  To not wake up each morning just hoping to get through the day.  To wake up expectantly looking for all the ways that God is blessing me each moment.  To thank God for the little things - the way the dust is glittering in the sunlight in the air in my living room right now.  Stuff that I don't notice when I'm on a dead run to get each thing done that I've signed up to do.  To have the time, or should I say, use the time in my day for purposeful, Kingdom things - to encourage my brothers and sisters and lift them up, to be the wife and mom I long to be, to be usable to my God.

God, what do you have for me today?  I need You.  Shape me, mold me, use me - for Your glory today and Your's alone.  Less of me - more of You.  Fill me right now with your unfailing love so that I might sing for joy today.  Help me to live in this moment, right now.  Lord, help me to come to You before I give a 'yes' and before my flesh cries out "I want to be a part of that activity!"  I give myself to You as a living sacrifice for You to use as You need to further Your Kingdom and to bring You glory.  Amen!

Timeless Advice

SOLD and CLOSED!

I just read our pastor's blog a bit ago and enjoyed reading a few scriptures he referenced from Deuteronomy about Moses instructing the people of Israel before they entered the promised land.  I became curious at what all Moses instructed them on, so I looked it up.  

I've compared several aspects of our journey over the past 19 months to what the Israelites experienced - constant/perfect provision from God, grumbling/complaining attitude, the need to remember what God has done for us...  So, I thought it'd be good for me to read up on what God wanted Moses to tell the Israelites after they were finally getting what they had sought after for so long.  He had quite a bit to instruct them on, but a few things stood out to me as timeless advice for us.

• Praise Him and give Him thanks!  When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Deuteronomy 8:10
• Don't forget Who got us here - Who worked it out for us.  Remember!!  Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.  Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.  He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions.  He brought you water out of hard rock.  He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you.  You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me."  But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today. Deuteronomy 8:11-18
• Worship the Lord, obey Him, love Him and serve Him.  And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and to observe the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?  Deuteronomy 10:12-13
• Guard against worshiping other gods - like money, relationships, things, hobbies, etc.  Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away and worship other gods and bow down to them. Deuteronomy 11:16
• Intentionally and regularly place the word of God in our hearts and minds and in our kids' hearts and minds.  Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-20

There's really nothing about these instructions that screams 'You-just-got-what-you-wanted-and-God-has-answered-your-prayers - you-had-better-be-on-guard!'  I wouldn't guess that we'd need to be especially on guard, but the Israelites sure were warned about a lot.  We need to take care to continue to cling to God like we have during our journey.  I can see a big exhale coming.  Relaxing...  slacking...  But we can not slack on our relationship with God...ever.  When I relax and am not diligent about guarding my heart and my mind, the devil can get in quietly and damage is done.   

In the past month while starting to relax some and waiting for our closing we have already been attacked in several ways.  We forgot His faithfulness - we started worrying.  But He quickly taught us the importance of revisiting and remembering His loving care for us.  I allowed a 'vacation' to begin once an offer was made on the house - it was unintentional, but it happened.  My reliance on Him relaxed and I wasn't diligent in my time with Him.  Slowly and quietly my mind was eaten up with lies and untruths about almost every area of my life.  Satan said, "Look here, she is relaxing, she is taking a break, and I know where I can get to her and make her ineffective for Christ.'  I was so thankful that last weekend God brought me to familiar scriptures through friends and books that He wanted me to camp on:  Philippians 4:6-9 says, 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.'

So, yes, this season is ending.  Finally.  Another begins though and we will always have struggles.  Circumstances shouldn't dictate our happiness.  Our faith in God will give us joy if we allow it to.  It has been hard, but God has taught us so much while shaping us into people who reflect Him a bit more clearly.  He has sustained us. God has done great things for us and we will sing for joy!  

Merry Christmas from the Kissel Family!

Dear Family and Friends,

It's been a fun year of 'getting our feet under us' in our new area, grieving the loss of old, and enjoying the excitement of new!  We are happy to say that God has been blessing us richly with good friends and feelings of being 'at home' in North Carolina!  We may not have everything we want or desire, but He provides for what we need!  Here is the 2012 Kissel Family update - which we just know that you’ve been waiting for!

We have enjoyed our new church home - we've gotten involved and have met a lot of awesome people.  We’ve been so excited to host many of our ‘old’ friends and our family in our home this year - so many fun memories have been made!  We’d love to have you stay with us if you are out this way!  We've explored a bit around this area and hope to do more in the coming year.  

The whole family is growing in faith and patience, as we still own our Indiana home.  Amy has been actively applying for jobs since the summer with no offers.  Even though things haven’t panned out exactly as we thought they would here - we are still undoubtedly here for a reason that God has not revealed to us yet.  We’re thankful that He has given us peace about being here, when everything else is an unknown to us it seems.  We are enduring.  God is a rock to lean on in times of trouble.  He has helped us through.  Try Him  out if you haven't! ;)

Emily has played more seasons of soccer and enjoys her junior girl scout troop.  She enjoyed a weekend retreat for kids from her Sunday school recently and was baptized on December 2nd!  Emily's sweet and adventurous spirit and pretty smile is going to knock some boys off of their feet.  Fifth grade is upon us and she will soon be going to middle school.  We don't know where time has gone as she approaches her eleventh birthday.

Evan has continued to play baseball and enjoys playing with his legos and his friends.  Always active!  He is a good student in the second grade and always has a smile, a joke, a laugh, a hug, a compliment, or a fart for you!

Jeff spends a bit of time driving to and from work, but has done a great job with his team and still enjoys his job - most days.  He is co-leading our LifeGroup and got to assistant coach Em’s soccer team this year.  Flies his IU flag on his truck proudly and has some stellar Hoosier pride in this Tarheel State!  Still cooking, baking, smoking, grilling, and trying new beers! 

Amy does mom and wife and friend stuff mostly- which is exactly what she loves to do!  She has continued to blog about her thoughts and experiences since we moved - www.evansvillekissels.blogspot.com Still passionate about connecting women together to other women in order that all feel the love of Jesus - you are not alone!  Whether that is through lunches, or groups, or get-togethers, or school functions, or ministries - she loves it!  

We truly hope that your family is well - in all ways!
Have a blessed and Holy Christmas!
Jeff, Amy, Emily, and Evan

Thanks for Giving

A friend and I have been recording what we are thankful for in thankful journals for a few months now.  I haven't been extremely faithful in doing it, but I have noticed that I am more aware and thankful for small blessings than I used to be.

In Good Times and In Bad

Winter's cold is chilling, while summer's sun brings warmth.  However, all sunshine and no rain make a desert.  Each season has a purpose.  "Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart" (Gal. 6:9)   (Taken from "Live Beautifully: A Study in the Books of Ruth and Esther" by Lenya Heitzig & Penny Rose)

A very beautiful, tiring weekend we had.  A flight to St. Louis to share in time spent with family, an intimate exchange of vows and a wonderful time of fellowship - meeting people who live life with Jason and Jenny.  I was overwhelmed with happiness for another person.

The Right Door & The Good in Every Situation

Where should I start?  I know I need to write and try to figure out some 'truths.'  My mind is swirling like the leaves in the dreary, windy, cool, gray day today.  

I have told many of you over the last few weeks, "my heart is at home still, but I am willing to do what I need to for my family and go where God leads me."  I guess I'm having a hard time as to where God is leading - I know I need to sit back and remain faithful. Sit back - as in BE PATIENT. Nothing new here.  But I also know that I need to continue having action with my faith - continue trying - continue pursuing other ideas, etc. 

Our Daily Bread

I have enjoyed this past week opening up the windows and sleeping with them open, listening to the sounds of nature and the fountain on the pond.  The cool breeze coming in and blowing the curtains gently - so peaceful.  I worked on my craft room this week, making it more of a cozy place and enjoyed sitting in front of the window at my desk and creating some.

Weary and Broken

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 41:28-31

This has been a long two weeks.  Loooonnnggg.  I am tired and weary and am stumbling and falling.  Right now I need to hope in the Lord so that my strength is renewed.  So I can walk, run, and soar over my circumstances and not become bogged down.  I know.  I have heard.  He is the Creator of the heavens and the earth.  He is not someone we can understand.  He does not become tired or weary.  He gives His own strength to the weary and gives His own power to the weak.  I am so thankful that His Spirit is inside of me, picking me up right now as I stumble along.  I need a recharge!

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12

On the morning of August 22nd I woke up at 4am with a headache.  It was so dark and quiet in the house.  It was raining.  A steady hard rain.  I was praying myself back to sleep.  Praying about the sell of our house.  God spoke to me.  He said 'soon.'  I knew it was Him...no question.  I was so at peace, thanking Him.

Since that moment, it seems like I have been battling.  The rulers, authorities, and powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil are present and trying to make themselves known - that is not a joke.   I definitely am not battling with any human right now...well, except my flesh maybe.  I know what I believe yet I question myself. I need to claim what I heard and Who I heard it from - He told me that it would be 'soon' - I need to cling to it. The devil is trying to tell me that I didn't hear it or it wasn't Him. He is also letting me entertain feelings of complete hopelessness on the whole situation.

Since that morning...

• Jeff's company had a consulting group (or whatever you call them - probably could insert some not so nice names here!) in to make some 'suggestions' on how to save the company money.  They made some decisions on cutting some jobs/positions out here and there and reorganizing some others.  They have known this for a few weeks now - us knowing that Jeff would find out on August 30th.  What a weight to carry around.  I'm proud of Jeff - he handled it so well - giving it all to God and letting Him have complete control of it instead of worrying day in day out.  He found out yesterday that his position was going to be fine.  I always felt pretty positive about it - Jeff has done wonderful things with his department since he moved here and has been recognized for it.  But you just never know...and being in the situation we are in... Ugh.  So, praise Him for protection for Jeff's job - once again!
• Our church home of 34 years in Indiana went through some hard changes last week - that had most likely been brewing for a few years.  Many mistakes were admittedly made in handling the changes and unfortunately has left many disheartened and so broken.  We are hurting too for the divisiveness this has caused amongst the body.
• Our church home of 9 months in North Carolina went through some hard changes last week.  Our lead pastor stepped down.  There was inconsistency between his behavior and the standard for spiritual leaders as listed in 1 Timothy 3:1-7.  We are so sad - we so enjoyed his preaching.  And so burdened to pray for him and his family.  What is affecting us the most though - the fallout from this - the ripple effect that goes throughout the families in the congregation.  As life group leaders, Jeff and I are in the midst of this - trying to check in on and comfort and encourage our friends and the church leaders.  Jeff has been incredibly strong through this - speaking truth and God's encouragmenet into lives here and in Indiana.  As a couple, we have decided that our church has handled this the best that they could - taking many steps to prevent it from happening, we agree with the plan they have moving forward so that this is less likely to happen again, and we are letting go of the want to know 'what in the world happened??'  There are several couples/people that I feel we have grown closer to through these past few weeks of this hard, sad time.  So, praise Him for giving us friends - once again!
• I still have not heard a thing from the 7 jobs I have applied for.  But, I will praise Him for providing for us, Jeff's job stability, and more time at home!
• Our house has been for sale for 14 month now (minus the few months the renters were in).  This has been where I have struggled the most...for a year now...wow.  God wants me to trust HIM.  Our sense of security and stability should be found in Him, who never changes and never fails - not our situations, our relationships, our finances, our jobs, our homes, our churches... He wants me to learn this and accept this. I am being broken...I do believe.  God and I have been in a tug of war over this for a year.  I am tired.  Of course, He is not pulling  - I am.  He'll let me keep trying to control it.  Our poor realtor got the brunt of my frustrations this week.  I hear suggestions and advice and I think - ah! maybe that will work - maybe that will sell it.  All the while, God is standing patiently right by my side saying - 'Just give it to Me.'  So I give it to Him, I wait a while...then I take it right back...thinking - you aren't doing anything, so I will try.  “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”(Mark 9:24)  I really do believe.  THIS is what spiritual warfare is all about...I believe.  I do!!!  Then self gets in the way.  Then the devil whispers - 'this is hopeless...it's been 14 months!  take action - you need to do something.'  Then I say - "Get away from me."  Then I'm ok for an hour...maybe.  Exhausted.  Weary.  I will persevere.  God gave me encouragement a week and a half ago.  I will NOT let the devil stomp out my hope.  And as our Indiana neighbors celebrate because they just sold their house in about a month so they could relocate out of state, I will choose to celebrate with them.  He can't make us all have cookie-cutter stories and experiences, so our situation is what we need. Them selling quickly is what they need.  I wrestled Him last night for awhile over this...at least it was a nice night out - full moon, pretty fountain to look at - hopefully no mosquito bites - we'll see!
• I went to the doctor for a UTI on Monday, but am feeling much better from the drugs.  Having palpitations though.  I know that is from stress though.  The three day weekend will help I'm sure.
• The kids started school on Monday.  They love their teachers!  I'm so glad.  
• Emily pulled out her last tooth without us knowing and put it under her pillow to see if the Tooth Fairy would come.  Jeff and I talked to her last night and now my baby girl is another step closer to being an adult.  There were tears...mostly hers.  But she accepted things really well.  And once again, Jeff stepped in and did an amazing job explaining things to her.

So thankful that God has provided us with a great community, growing friendships (new and old), a good school, a good job for Jeff.  That my husband has stepped up and been so strong through this since I've struggled.

I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me.  My flesh may fail, but God - You never will.  Give me strength to trust what you say.  That You're good and Your love is great.  I'm broken inside.  I give you my life.
(click on it - it's a song I've been singing over and over and over in my head for weeks...)

Please pray for me to rest in Isaiah 41:28-31...thanks friends.

The Comparison Game - A New Twist...

I am having a hard time with comparisons.  For once I'm not comparing like this: "she is prettier, more athletic, more likeable, etc" but comparing what I did have with what I have (or don't have) now.  Someone asked me how my Bible Study was going and I answered, 'good.'  Evidently it was underwhelming.  Which - oh my, it is going good!!  After she questioned whether I actually meant my 'good' answer I realized that yes, it is going well, but I am comparing it to my old Bible Study in Evansville - a few years of meeting together and bonding AFTER we had already known each other and served together for years and years before that.  What is just beginning here is NEVER going to compare - so why try?  But be thankful for what I am a part of here.  God is blessing me with these Godly women each week!!

The friendships I'm forming here are NOT "Kendra-like" - and probably won't ever be because she and every other friend back home I'm missing is unique.  Kendra is more 'unique' than most - ha ha ha - you like that, Kendra?   I should not be trying to replace her!  Hello???!!!  Doesn't the girl scout song go: Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold. 

The soccer team that Emily is on here is not as good as E-ville, don't work together as well, she's not learning...blah blah blah - you get the point.  Jeff and I have had the hardest time watching on the side-line and comparing almost everything going on (or not going on) with how wonderful the last team Emily was on in Evansville - the one that Jeff got to assistant coach with a buddy and the girls clicked, worked together well, and won every game except one.  We obviously miss it - anyone listening to us would find us quite obnoxious!  Emily even was upset after the past game, as she doesn't have friends on her team - 'like she did in Evansville.'

Our 11 years of living in Evansville, Jeff and I made friends with many 'transplants' - couples who moved to the area from another state.  We always loved getting to know people from other places and the friendships that developed out of it.  Some of our best friends!  What always irritated us though - the comparisons.  Usually though - it was more of the soccer-type comparisons.  "Back home _____ was absolutely top notch.  This type of crap would not be acceptable."  Which considering they were basically putting down Evansville - the place we lived our whole lives and loved - we really didn't like.   Yeah, well, now I understand...  I understand that there are things in the place you lived your whole life that you just like better.  And there are people you don't want to let go of.  And there are things and relationships and groups that will not be replaced.  Since we've been here I've been very conscious of making sure I don't fall into the trap of 'things are not as good here' - of course, God blessed us by moving us somewhere that really is hard to find stuff we don't like!  Just look at these blue skies!! I even made a list on the side of my blog of things we've discovered we love about NC.  But you know what - it is okay that we don't love it all here.   But...it is not good that we are comparing things to how it used to be...because it is going to be different here.  And what 'used to be' has passed and what 'is' is here now.  Does that make sense?  Everything is different here.  I don't have to replace everything I had in Evansville with something identical here.  It's a new time.  Trust.  Be thankful...and gracious...for what we've been blessed with...  Still, allowing ourselves to mourn our losses - there is a time for everything.

Impeccable Timing and Two Revelations

Have you ever just praised God for the timing of the perfect encouragement that He sent to you?

I had a rough weekend.  I was really missing our friends - especially those who we got together with as a family.  It is awesome to have friends that you can just call up and say "hey, want to hang out tonight" and not go to the trouble to clean the house up or make a perfect meal or worry when your kid is being mean and icky to their kids.  You can be yourself completely and sprawl out on the couch while you are visiting.  :)  Man, I miss them!!  Tears come still today thinking about it!  I am still mourning this loss.  As Kendra reminded me yesterday - I've had many losses, I have to work through the grief of each of them.  I keep thinking I'm done.  LOL!  I am so grateful that God is blessing me with lots of friends here - there are so many potential wonderful girlfriends here!  I am excited when I see that and He keeps introducing me to such amazing women.  But, I have only known them for short times - so that level of comfort is not there yet completely - but gosh, it is definitely getting there - I feel blessed today. Although this weekend my outlook on life just was very blah (for lack of better words.)
 

I got a note/package in the mail on Monday from my sister-in-law, Jenny.  She sent me something a friend of hers makes - a little bottle that has tiny tear shaped beads in it with the verse Psalm 56:8 on it.  The attached card says "The tears in a bottle remind us that God knows our every sorrow.  We all know or have known sorrow.  God promises that we are never alone and that He will wipe away every tear.  Revelation 21:4"   Jenny wrote me the most encouraging note to go along with it.  She reminded me Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Also 2 Corinthians 12:10 which says, "That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."    I of course, shed some more tears for His bottle.  I happen to love the verses about Him bottling our tears!  I was so in awe of His impeccable timing of when I needed this encouragement.  She lives away from home as well and understands  a lot of my struggles.  I wrote her an email and thanked her for her encouragement.  Her email back to me this morning that I read reminded me of a few things:  He is always there to pick me back up.  I am never alone even if I feel that way.  He uses these hard times for good.  Just to name a few.  So thankful for my 'sister' this morning!  So, then, I turn on the radio like I always do when I'm getting ready.  A song by Mandisa called 'Stronger' is on.  (Click on the words and just listen to it!)  I was singing along since I've heard the song a billion times and all of a sudden I heard the words.  More words 'just like' the ones from Jenny.  It was super cool.  Thanks God! 

So, I've had two revelations over the past two days.  First one was yesterday while I was enjoying the awesome weather and sunshine and doing some yard work. I of course have been thanking God for the beautiful weather this winter.  But, it is not typical here evidently for it to be THIS warm during the winter (I can always hope that this is the new typical though).  I know Indiana is having a very mild winter, as well.  I was struck how grateful Jeff and I need to be that it is mild because it costs a lot less to heat our two homes!!  So, praise God!   Second one this morning - if I can boast and brag and share about God's impeccable timing to encourage me at JUST THE RIGHT TIME...why would I not trust Him with the timing of everything else that goes on in my life?  Just sayin'!  Something for me to meditate on today.

Watchful and Thankful

I had to get this as a great reminder to us.  It says "The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

So, I begged for clarity.  I kid you not, the next day it came.  Clear as the Carolina skies like I asked for!  Don't you love it when God gives us what we ask for - and we KNOW He's the One who gave it to us?

I got to speak to someone about the RN position - it was a full time M-F job as a Case Manager for Worker's Comp.  Some of it was from home (paperwork) but majority of it was driving around following the patient, place of employment, attorneys, and insurance.  It was clear that this was too much of a time committment here in this new city.  I then pretty much knew that I don't have anything to lose by signing up to sell ThirtyOne.  I am also hoping to help one of my neighbor friends who opened a consignment shop with some advertising online.  So, that is what I'm going to do so my little rugrats can do some extra activities.  I also am feeling more at peace about leading a Bible Study at the house.  I had to tell what my spiritual gifts were on my 'application' to be a leader.  I looked up my test but I took it probably 5-6 years ago.  My gifts WERE:  Knowledge, Service/Help, Leadership.  But NOW they are:  Knowledge, Leadership, Wisdom, Discernment,Teacher, Administration, Exhortation.  And it seems like over a lot of the areas the scores were a lot higher.  I asked the Life Groups pastor whether your spiritual gifts change over time.  He said definitely through spiritual growth and maturity your gifts can change.  So, as I see what my gifts are (Hospitality scored high too, but not as high as these) and what I know my passions are (connecting women to others and God so that they feel encouraged and loved) it seems clear to go forward with the Bible Study - trusting Him in the unfamiliar territory.  I also got word just a bit ago that the PTO actually decided that they do not want to move forward with the Spirit Rock - which was a bit disappointing to me, but it frees up something else that was on my plate that was just extra time that I was going to have to give.

Evan is having a hard week.  Grandma Judy (Jeff's mom) had total knee replacement surgery yesterday.  We have been talking about it and we packed up a fun care package to send her way.  He is really worried about her though.  His teacher said he was a bit 'off' yesterday and he has been extremely whiney and negative about everything ever since school started back up.  We will call her this afternoon - hopefully that will help some.  Not sure what is going on.  Mrs. Gordon and I are working on it. 

We have gotten the living room and the morning room painted.  I feel like I have tunnel vision right now trying to get as much as I can painted downstairs.  I love how it looks.

So I prayed for clarity and I got clarity.  Too bad it doesn't work that way everytime. Some scriptures make it seem like all you have to do is ask and 'poof' you get it.

Matthew 7:7 " Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

But, it seems like your motives probably need to line up with what God would want...
James 4:3  "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

So, yes, He gave me clarity because I asked and because my motives were pure - I do not want to do anything that He does not want me to do.  I want to spend my time wisely and allow Him to be able to work through me.  But, He also may have chosen not to answer that prayer.  And there are other prayers that He has not answered.  Ahem...like selling our house.  First I think - am I asking with wrong motives so that I may spend what we get on our pleasures??  Hrm.  I have to think about that.  WHY do I want our house to sell?  Just because He hasn't answered them yet doesn't mean our asking is wrong.  His timing is completely perfect and the sell of our house is NOT overdue.

Habakkuk 2:3 TLB  "But these things I plan won't happen right away.  Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.  If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass.  Just be patient!  They will not be overdue a single day!" 

In my devotional book today I read that presenting what I need over and over to God keeps my needs/concerns in the forefront of my mind - keeping me in a state of tension.  Instead, pray with a thankful heart and thank Him for the plans He already has for our house to sell and the plans He set into motion long before we could discern results.  "Thankful prayers keep your focus on My Presence and My promises."

Colossians 4:2  "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

I am grateful! I am grateful for what You've done!

Happy Fish/Turkey

The visit with my mom and dad was so nice.  It was fun having them here!  The kids were so surprised and we had a great visit.  They had to leave on Wednesday to get back home so my dad could work.  Thursday Tony and Sue came over for Thanksgiving.  It is only the second time we have hosted Thanksgiving since we've been married - the first was in 1998.  It was a yummy meal - we had a fried turkey from Bojangles (a fried chicken fast food chain in the South).  After lunch we went out to one of the ponds here and fished.  The kids caught their first fish.  It was fun!

Thursday night I went shopping with Mary Kay (the neighbor I met from California).  We had a nice time and had a lot to talk about.  I was home and in bed by two.  Jeff worked on Friday, so the kids played outside with neighbors and I decorated the house for Christmas.  It is hard to decorate and not know where to put anything, but I think I like it.  The Christmas tree made it, even though the movers threw it a few times. I got rid of a ton of outside decorations since we don't have room for them in the garage.  So, less is more, is my approach for the outside.  It looks nice.

Today was a visit to church #4.  Elevation Church in Matthews - about 15 minutes away from us.  This church has been recommended to us by a few people back in Evansville. Lysa TurKeurst evidently attends this church.  And when Jeff and I were on the pastor search committee at CFC we had to listen to sermons of pastors online of different churches.  Ironically this church was one of the ones assigned to our group.  We did not care for it then.  Seemed like they all have an overzealous love for their pastor and his vision for the church.  It is one of the fastest growing churches in the country.  5 locations in the Charlotte area I believe.  And they tell about all of that on their website.  So, we had the impression that it was kind of 'cult-like' - isn't that a horrible assumption to make!!  We were judging without experiencing it ourselves.  Anyway, we thought we needed to give it a try because of the recommendations from those we trust back home.  We left this morning after experiencing the service and looked at each other.  "I think I need to eat my words," I said to Jeff.  "Me too," he said.  It was really cool.  We really can't find much to complain about.  It is different than what we are used to, but it was ok with us - a good different.  When we were there this morning it was really a wonderful worship experience.  The music was loud, yes - set up like a concert with lights and stuff.  But then the pastor had us sing a song that just had the words "I am grateful.  I am grateful for what You've done." over and over, then he had us raise one hand then the other while we sang.  It was nice.  Then he gave his sermon - the most engaging one yet for both of us - on God's favor.  So many good points.  Lots of scripture.  Lots of examples.  The short version:

How do we walk in / receive the favor God already has for us?  
1.  Expect - frame your world with favor.  Ask "How is God going to bring success and greatness out of this?" - it is not an entitlement mentality - we KNOW the end of this story.  We don't lose.
2.  Recognize - open your eyes to opportunity.  Greatness can walk right past us but we are thinking about something else - something silly or insignificant.  Even in our setbacks recognize His favor - it might be a set up for success.  
3.  Respond - give yourself to obedience. Obedience positions us to receive His favor (spending time in His presence, having faith that He will do what He says He will do, confession of sin, serving God, running with a purpose.)
 
No matter what your circumstances, open your eyes!!!  He is giving you favor.  And be grateful.  We ended by singing "I am grateful" some more.  I was not in awe of the pastor - who many times said it was not about him, but what God is doing through him - I thought he was fantastic though!  I can see how/why everyone likes him.  We came from a church where everyone likes certain pastors though...so is that wrong/how does it get wrong?  I don't know.  The kids both liked this church a lot too in their separate areas.  I also liked the fact that they reported on how much and where money was being used over the past month and it was all in the Charlotte area.  I liked that.  I do not see where they have anything for the kids though past 5th grade, so that is something we will probably consider.  We have one more church to visit next week.  Then we will go to a few that we liked for a few weeks in a row to see what we need to do.  I am praying that God places us in the right church - how important this choice is since we are here without family - these people will be our family.

We had a call a bit ago that our house was being shown to someone for the second time!  That hasn't happened yet that I know of.  Praying praying praying.  But knowing and resting that it will be ok.

The season of thankfulness.  I am so grateful this year for what He has done for us.  I am so grateful that He prepared our hearts through past experiences and past growth for what He had for us to do (and WHERE He had for us to do it!) - as if He would just throw us out there to the wolves without preparation!   I am grateful for what He has done in me - the work, the change, the healing.  I just look back over the past 5-7 years of my life and am utterly amazed at how changed I am.  I am so content with who I am at this stage of my life...and He is the One who shaped me into who I am.  It is not of my own doing.  And I am still SO far from where I need to be - don't get me wrong.  The progress I have made, did not come through willpower.  I was unable.  But He is able.  He brought me out of a pit and placed me on a rock, gave me blessings through mentors and wise friends, insight and revelation, and tools from His Word such as the knowledge of who I am according to Him, why I am loved, and what He has asked of me.  He reminded me that I need not be alone because He is always in me, helping me be more like Him and less like me.  He forgave me for always striving to be in everyone's good graces and and being addicted to pleasing others in order to feel loved.  He released me from the bondage of self depreciating thoughts and actions and negativity.  He taught me that just because so-and-so says I am this-or-that, it does not define me and he/she does not have control over me.  I am free.  Free of negativity.  Free of addictions to people.  Free of a need for a friend to fill that emptiness in me. He is the only One who can do that.  The devil knows how to get me though, just like he does you.  And during times when I am tired, hungry, sick, sad, away from His Word, or pms'ing these weaknesses make a reappearance!  Sigh!  The difference in me now is - I can 'shake it off' instead of being bound in obsession for long periods of time.  Yes, I have down days, and sometimes weeks.  But, no, I am not who I was...by any means...and for this, I am grateful.  With change comes some loss...and unfortunately I am mourning some losses right now.  But I know that He is leading me.  I am waiting in expectation for the favor that He has in store for me and my family here and know that He will heal my heart.  I am grateful.

He Still Blesses Me - Even After Temper Tantrums!

So, today we visited church #3 - Calvary Church, which is the one that I have been doing my women's study at on Tuesday mornings.  I figured that it would be more of a classic/traditional service opposed to the contemporary style we lean more towards.   But, whoa!  It was definitely the most traditional type service (except for a Catholic service) that I've been to.  Jeff wore jeans and was a tad uncomfortable.  Men in coats and ties and definitely your 'Sunday best.'  The huge sanctuary was beautiful with a huge pipe organ and large windows.  Full choir and orchestra on the platform with very 'pretty' songs and traditional hymns. This church was as far as a drive as the one last week.  And they did not have a class for 4th graders on up.  So Emily had to go to the service with us.  She was not happy.  The idea is that everyone stays for the second hour for a Bible study and that is when they have something for her age.  Not a huge fan of that for her sake.  Although, the pastor was fantastic.  Dr. Munro is from Scotland and was a criminal prosecutor, then went to seminary to get a Master of Theology degree.  He was fun to listen to with his accent and he taught right out of the Bible, straight scripture - kept my attention.  Loved him!  Unfortunately we didn't like much of any of the rest of it.  It was ok if we are looking for something so traditional, but I guess we really aren't. 

This past week we got some extra dirt in my landscaped area and three piles of the great big rocks.  It is going to look so great in the spring when I can plant more stuff.  I got a few clearance grasses at Lowe's to start with.  We will still need to move the smoker off of the deck and down to this area here in the next week.

I started and finished my first crafty project for the house:  two window cornices for the living room.  I have wanted to make some since a friend in Evansville made some of her own, then the model home had some.  So, my dad built the wood frame and I covered them - which was a lot harder than I thought it'd be. They turned out great though - I am happy with them!

So, I had a very pity party kind of week.  I am lonely and it became magnified when Em came home from the Jr. Scout meeting that she had looked so forward to going to.  She was just bummed.  She misses her group from home that she'd been with for years.  Of course these girls all know each other and Em was sad that she didn't have a friend there.  It broke my heart.  The same day I got a call from my mom saying that her and my dad are going to be here on Monday through Wednesday - which was a total surprise!  I was and am very excited!  But, then I was irritated that they have to make a 9 hour drive in order to see us!!  I got mad again about this whole situation - had my "it's not fair!" tantrum and a good cry that night and the next morning and felt a bit better.  Dreary weather and 5 days worth of headaches haven't helped much either.  I miss my girlfriends and even my acquaintances - seeing people I know almost everywhere I go. I am thankful that a phone call and texting and everything else makes my friends seem close still, but it is not the same as seeing them on a regular basis.  And it is hard that communication with a lot of people have lessened and lessened.  I know it is hard to be far away...and I've never been good at maintaining long distance friendships.  Argh!  So I definitely don't blame anyone  - life is busy - and if you aren't in someones life regularly then it is hard to be intentional.  'Out of sight, out of mind' right?  So sad, but so true.  I am confident though that God will help us maintain friendships that are good for us and that He has amazing friendships planned for all of us here - patience is going to be necessary.  Friendships don't develop overnight, right?  I read in When the Boxes are Unpacked book this week:

"Who better than Christ would know what it's like to leave great fellowship and a home He loves, to come to a new strange place?  I wonder if Christ ever got homesick for heaven?" 

He is the One who will remain constant during this time in my life.  No, I don't have my friends and family here, but I have Him ALL the time, any time - and He understands perfectly how I feel.  He (even after my temper tantrum) provided these interactions/encouragements this week for me:  He had Petrina send me a message telling me how she loves my blogs and how to remember that I have new friends here.  She's even one who is in a similar situation as I am just moving here this summer...I am not the only one going through this type of thing - I need to remember this.  I also met a mom at the bus stop this week who moved here from California this summer.  MaryKay is so sweet and we got along perfectly - excited about this potential friendship!  At the Spring Fling Thing meeting on Friday I met a mom who just moved here this summer too!  The meeting was fun - I love event planning!  LOL.   I keep thinking it would be fun to have a get together for all of us newbies (new to the area in 2011 party)...must keep this in mind.  I keep comparing this place to being away at college.  Everyone is here from somewhere else, a lot are away from home and family, and are entering a new phase of life.  I am tossing around the idea of starting a bunco group for the ladies in the neighborhood - there isn't one yet!  And this morning in church I had a thought about doing a women's Bible study out of my home - I was just complaining that there aren't hardly any churches that have women's ministries and during the day studies going on.  These are some ideas I've had, but not acted on at all - definitely a way to make some friends.  Oh - we went out with Steve and Wendy and their girls on Friday night.  She is the one I met on the online moms group and go to Transformation Church.  We had a really great time!  

Since we've moved in I have not had as much anxiety about our house in Indiana.  Jeff and I have talked a lot about it and are accepting that it might be a long time before it sells.  We also remember that we made sure that we could do this financially before we agreed to all of this.  It is not going to be fun, but it is going to make us rely fully on Him for His provision.  I can not believe how much 'favor' He has provided me over just this past week with buying certain things, finding certain deals, and being given huge discounts - I could call it just good luck or the right place at the right time or savvy shopping, but it is not.  He is going to provide for us during this time.  We have had a couple week lull in activity on the house.  We've had a few showings this weekend though.  Jeff and I certainly are not thrilled about having two houses payments, but we are at peace...and we are trusting.  Evan was not heartbroken when we told him that we could not pay the almost $200 in fees just to JOIN boy scouts.  (But we are looking in to Awana for him.)  And the kids did not pout when we said we are going to get one family gift this year instead of gifts for everyone.  It will be ok...we will follow Him closely, going without a few things so that we can continue to be a part of this plan He has for us. 

Oh- please pray for safe travels for my parents who will be driving Sunday evening and Monday morning and then again on Wednesday evening and Thursday.  Thanks!!!

The Boxes Are Unpacked

Well, the boxes are unpacked.  I can see the floor in some places.  We're getting there!  I've been busy for sure...lots to do.  So thankful to be in our house.  It doesn't feel like home yet, but it will come.  The kids are so excited to have their rooms, beds, toys, etc.  They are suddenly getting along better - go figure!  They got to meet some kids in the neighborhood this past week too.  The bus ride home is nice for me - I can see the bus stop from our front porch - I am enjoying not driving two hours every afternoon!!

I just have to take a minute and say, I am SO completely thankful for the time that we spent at Tony & Sue's over the past 2 1/2 months.  The kids loved learning different things from them and having the extra attention.  And I really enjoyed getting to know Sue and hanging out with her.  Sue is an extremely encouraging and positive person.  She taught me some good meals and taught me to sew and quilt!!  She offered to include me in everything she did.  She cheered me up when I was down.  They shared their entire space with us and made sacrifices beyond belief.  They thought ahead as to what would make us most comfortable and provided and did that.  Amazing!  I have thought often over the past few months - would I be able to extend the same gift of hospitality to others as they have for us??  It is the kind of gift that you can never express how much it meant - and you can never repay someone for!   What a blessing God provided to us through them!  We will be having our only Carolina relatives over for Thanksgiving this year.

It was absolutely fantastic having my mom and Judy here at the beginning of the week.  They flew home on Thursday.  But they and Sue were a huge help.  They unpacked all the boxes for me and organized the kitchen.  I hated to see them leave.  The week was a blur.  By Thursday when they left I had my bearings enough to make a taco dinner!  When Evan woke up Friday morning he had a sore throat, but no fever or anything else, so off to school he went.  When he got home he had a fever...bad mom!!  Off to the doctor we went.  We had already researched and decided on a doctor that is right up the road - less than 5 minutes.  He, luckily, could get us in on a Friday afternoon.  Positive strep.  Ugh.  But, at least he got started on medicine and was feeling much better by Saturday evening.  Jeff has been great - hanging blinds/curtain rods, hooking things up, hanging light fixtures, ceiling fans, etc.  He has really worked hard. We have been so busy searching for lost items, moving things around, hanging things, organizing that it still does not seem real that we are in a house in North Carolina and are 'doing life' here now.  Although it just makes me smile to take the kids to school in the mornings and be gone for 10 minutes round trip!  Halleluiah! 

This weekend in Evansville we missed the prospective pastor preach at church...and I missed the women's conference with Lysa TerKeurst and Laura Story.  It made me sad to miss out on things...things that were important to us.  I'm sure there will be many more things we miss though and time will heal...

This morning, after enjoying the extra hour of sleep from the time change, we got up and went to church!  We were all so excited!  We have about 5 different churches that we've looked at online and listened to some sermons of their pastors that we'd like to visit.  The one this morning was the closest to our house since we have so much we wanted to get done at home today.  Southbrook Church is 5 minutes away and Emily is going to play basketball through that church soon (Jeff is going to coach too!)  The kids both had a kid church type set up.  Emily was with just 4th grade girls - and one was a girl from her class at school! - and they joined the middle school for worship - it was loud music!  Jeff and I enjoyed the sermon, the pastor, the people, the set up, and most of all - the worship and music.  It was definitely our style.  I was so relieved to be back at church.  It felt good to stand in His presence and sing - and since it was so loud no one heard how off key I was...and since it was dark, no one saw the tears run down my face as we sang one of my favorites - "Oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm.  Oh no, You never let go, in every high and every low.  Lord, you never let go of me!"  Jeff and I have never 'church shopped' before.  We've prayed for the right one, but don't really know what to do to choose.  All four of us liked this one enough to stay there!  But, we also want to try the others out too so we know for sure what is out there - I guess that is how you do it?  Pray for us if you think of it!

Like I said, things have been a whirlwind the past couple of weeks.  I really don't think much of anything has sunk in fully.  I know that a lot of stress has been relieved, but I am sure that the journey is only starting.

Some Things We Know

We had a very fun week with Judy here!  Some highlights of this week:  Stepping in mud and getting paint on us while showing Judy and Sue our house Tuesday.  Some awesome slaw at a restaurant.  Watching fast cars go fast at the Bojangles Pole Night for the big NASCAR race at the Charlotte Motor Speedway (and enjoying it!)  Both of the kids getting straight A's on their first report cards!  Bead shops, Quilting shops, Antique shops, Fabric shops, Yarn shops, and Consignment shops in Davidson, Concord, Kannapolis, Huntersville, Mooresville, Stallings, and Monroe!  (Don't worry, I barely bought anything!)  Eating at a Mexican restaurant who had their doors open since it was so nice out and being startled by the bird flying around above our heads.  Me receiving an early Christmas present - my first sewing machine!!! Which I am SO excited about!  Trying shrimp and grits and loving it.  Emily learning how to crochet a bit.  Sue, Judy, and I being so in to shopping and eating that we had to call Jeff away from work to go pick up the kids from school because we weren't going to make it there in time. Oops!

Our house is coming along awesomely...is that a word?  Jeff and I and the kids stopped by this afternoon and walked through it.  They have trim up, cabinets in, tile in, counter tops on, some appliances in, light fixtures up, toilets in.  The outside looks almost complete.  It rained for a few days this past week so the yard did not get worked on, but the stone is done, gutters on, sidewalks and driveway poured.  It looks so neat.  It is really exciting.  I never ever ever dreamed that we'd be doing this right now.  It just goes to show how unpredictable life is.  Not always are the changes good...sometimes they are bad, but sometimes the good comes with a lot of hard....  Some things we KNOW about this change in our lives:

• We have been blessed beyond measure straight from God.  James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.   

• Yet we are hurting and are mourning a loss.  John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. 

• He comforts us!  Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

• And He gives us strength through His Spirit and through others who have done this before. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 

• And He prepared us for this already.  Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Thank you Lord~

Thank you for Jeff's promotion - for the recognition in the workplace that he has received.  Thank you for providing a warm, safe, and loving environment for us to stay while our house is being built.  Thank you for a new beautiful house!  We realize that these are straight from You!  Thank you for loving on us when we are sad and allowing us to mourn, but then allowing us to tap into that Strength who lives in us.  Thank you for surrounding us with encouragement from so many and especially those who have been comforted by You before and are able to comfort us with the comfort You gave them.  Thank you for preparing us for this - for shaping us into the people that You wanted and needed us to be in order to give us these blessings and be available for the next "good thing" You will have us do.

Not every blessing comes up all roses all the time.  God has promised that we will have trouble in this world - even amidst all the great things.  I am thankful that while we are enjoying our blessings and praising Him for them, we can also call on Him for comfort since this blessing is causing pain, too!  Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers!

"Blessings" by Laura Story - Click here to listen to a great song to go with my thoughts tonight!

On A Positive Note

We are beginning our 4th week of being here - Jeff's 5th week.  This morning his truck decided that it isn't enjoying the workout every day.  We are relieved to find out that the leak in the thermostat is fixable and will be repaired today for $250. On a positive note, we are thankful that he noticed that his temperature was 'off.'  It could have been worse!

A park in Huntersville yesterday.

I have got to remember that we are ALL going through this.  Lately I have focused on myself so much and the impact that moving has had on me.  There are 3 other bodies that are going through a change!  Everyone has told me that kids can handle this type of change, and for the most part I think our kids have done fantastic with things.  Do you ever feel like you are in the midst of something that is changing your kids forever?  I have had that thought a lot lately and I shove it aside because it scares me.  I am harder on them for some things that I normally wouldn't be because we are living in someone elses space and I don't want them to be an annoyance/nuisance.  And yet I am letting them get away with other things because I want to compensate.  Ugh.  The kids are picking on each other/fighting more than normal, but they are around each other constantly.  Emily seems thoroughly frustrated/angry with us and Evan most of the time and jumps down our throats at the blink of an eye.  Evan is testing his limits constantly and whining quite a bit.  Jeff and I are not as emotionally available to them as we should be.  We are tired, we are processing this, and we are just trying to get through.  Do you ever feel like you are just doing life 'next to' each other instead of 'with' each other?  Every so often we get in these slumps.  And right now is one of them. We are fine, but if you think of it, pray that Jeff and I do life together instead of separately right now.   It is hard to be ourselves/our little family unit right now.  Although on a positive note, Tony and Sue wanting to do stuff with the kids is awesome for us and Em and Ev right now since we aren't being all we should be to them.  And it is mostly awesome grandparent training for Tony and Sue (until Tony hurt his leg playing tennis with the kids Saturday.  He is on the mend though!)  My prayer for this week is to be the mom and wife that God wants me to be - to be available and interested in what/who needs my attention.

We had two more people come look at our house this past weekend.  No takers.  On a positive - it is great that we have had so many showings.   There at least is still interest in the house.  My faith is becoming a bit stronger that God has a buyer in the absolute perfect timing. 

I just wanted to mention that last Thursday we met up with another blessing.  When our friends, Jason & Christy Borg, found out that we were coming to the Charlotte area they quickly hooked us up on facebook with two couples that they have been friends with for a long time who live here.  These two ladies have been awesome providing me with information and support before we even got here.  Well, Thursday the kids and I stayed down in our area after school in order to go to the scouting recruitment night at 6:30.  One of these new facebook friends, Mandy who lives minutes from the school, offered to meet up with us and chit chat.  It was a complete blessing to meet her and be reassured from someone else who lives hours away from her family!!  When I got to girl scout night I had already felt taken care of by God by my time with Mandy and really was just  ready to sign papers and get home - it is exhausting to kill time sometimes!  Then God said "Here's some more for you" and the mom across from me struck up a conversation, said that she moved here last year from Connecticut and offered me lots of info about the school and gave me her information.  Our daughters will be in a Jr. Scout troop together.

I also am continuing to receive encouragement through emails and texts from friends back home!  Even from those who I didn't expect it from...  I keep thinking - have I ever been this supportive to my friends going through something big??   Amazing!  That is what you guys are to me! 

In my last post I said that it had been easy to see God in each moment.  This is just a bit of it.  He does this for everyone - not just for me.  What did He bless you with today??  What are you thankful for?  What is the positive in each situation you are in?  I used to be a pretty "the glass is half empty" kind of person, but I made a conscious effort to try to see the positive in things a few years back and I am SO thankful that a new habit was formed. (Even though old habits make a reappearance every now and then - I can throw a pity party like no other!).  My mentor and friend, Pat started me with a simple exercise years ago.  Write down 10 things you are thankful for...man, when I started it was hard to come up with them...   I am happier and more content.  Those who have been friends with me for longer than 4 or 5 years can attest to the change and are thankful for it I'm sure!  See - the first thing on your list of things you are thankful for - you don't have to be around an Amy who's being a Negative Nellie!! (at least for today)  :)

Roller Coaster

So, I guess I will have bad days and good days!  I hope more good than bad though!  I hope you guys can stick with me for this roller coaster ride.  I really feel like I am a roller coaster of emotions right now...what a wild ride!  I truly have so much support and am thankful for you all!!  Since my last post it has not been hard to see God in a lot of my day...

Short weeks are nice!  Can't believe it is Thursday already!  Tuesday Sue got me out of the house and we went to the library.  Got some books on North Carolina and some books for Evan to read to us for his homework each evening (he is getting so good!)  Yesterday I felt great.  Got going early and went down to the Matthews area to explore some.  Found some consignment shops that had some great furniture, got a pattern at Michael's for a patchwork shower curtain, had lunch with Jeff at a really great Mexican restaurant.  Went to an Old Time Pottery store and ran out of time.  Fun!  Got a call that our house will be shown on Friday afternoon...maybe they will be the ones.  Went by the house and the block/foundation is almost done.  Lumber should be delivered next week.  I bought us some tickets for next Friday evening to go to the NHRA Nationals at the Drag Track here in Charlotte/Concord.  Something we've never done...I am excited about it even if it is car stuff.  I talked to my parents and Kendra, too.  Then I made dinner - tried two new recipes and pulled it off...they were yummy and everyone liked it.  Like I said, good day!

The kids are doing ok.  Evan has had a head cold this week, but seemed to be a bit better sounding this morning.  We all started our vitamins this week.  The kids have both met some kids here in Tony and Sue's neighborhood to play with.  They are enjoying school for the most part and making friends easily.  Tonight is scouting night open house.  Emily, of course, will need a Jr. Scout troop (she's been in scouts for 4 years now) and Evan is super excited, wanting to be a boy scout.  I don't like the popcorn, so I am not sure about it...lol.  He and Jeff are already talking about the little car they will build together.  Emily just finished her "me poster/collage" assignment for her class.  She did awesome.  And Aunt Sue taught and helped her sew a pillow case.

This morning I cut out and sewed together a small quilting project.  It was fun!  It certainly helps having someone right there to help you and all the right supplies.   I can't show you what I made though - Christmas is right around the corner! 

No fried food?? What kind of festival is this??!!

Well, the first full week of school is done.  The kids are settling in to a routine somewhat.  Meeting new friends.  Making some 'get to know you' projects for class.  Getting up early.  Complaining.  Going to bed early.  Complaining.  Life is rough.
Here is Evan's car of the class train for the hallway.  Emily is still working on her poster collage and I will post a picture soon.

As I was driving to school on Wednesday to help with the project in Emily's classroom I prayed and asked God to help me to meet people and to provide me with friends here.  I remembered how He has been testing my patience in most things lately and not giving me what I want immediately, so I told myself that it might be awhile before any connections are made here and I need to be okay with that.  The first mom, Petrina, who came in to help made a comment in a lovely accent that her kids are new to the school this year.  I excitedly said, "mine too!"  We quickly compared stories and found a lot in common with our situations.  Her daughter is in Emily's class and she has a son in first grade and a fifth grader also.  They have only been in the area for a week, moved by her husband's job, and are living with her in-laws because they don't have a house yet.  They moved here from Ireland!!  Wow!!  Now, THAT is a move!  But, it was neat to talk about what we had found out so far and what we were still clueless about.  We agreed to stay in contact to be a support to one another.  Another mom, Erin, came in to help also.  Her kids have been at Wesley Chapel all through school, but she moved to this area about 10 years ago.  So, she also knew what it was like for us.  She offered some great insight to the school, teachers, area, doctors, dentists, etc.  I left the school beaming mostly because God is SO good to me.  It was such an encouragement and He again provided that because He loves me.  And the project - it was just mindless grunt work while the kids were at lunch - so it was perfect socializing time :) 

We have been trying to be patient as the building permits had to 'appear' before our house could start.  I was thrilled to see that the footers were dug Wednesday morning. 

Huge rocks while they are trying to dig the footers.

They are leaving them in piles for me to use in my landscaping!!

I have spent the last two days trying to figure out knitting.  Teaching myself with a book and some youtube videos.  I got the 'casting on' pretty quickly.  But I could not figure out the knit stitch for anything!!  I was getting so frustrated.  Not to mention there are two different ways to do it and they suggest one is for right-handed people and one is for left-handed people.  So I kept trying to do the right-handed or 'continental' method.  It was NOT happening.  Then I watched a video on the other method 'English' method (or 'German' or 'American' or 'Throwing' apparently) and it was pretty easy after that.  So, step two done. Yay for me! Are you proud, Jenny?

When I picked the kids up after school today Emily was excited to tell me that she was chosen as the "Star Student" from her classroom for the week.  Her teacher told the class that she would never have known that she was new to the school. Proud of her!  Now, if she can tone down the sass...  After school we drove the one mile to our house and watched the guys laying block.  Evan was amazed...he said "That sure is a lot of hard work! How much are you paying them for that??" and "I could just watch them all day!"  He really enjoyed it.  Emily helped me measure the windows in the model home so I can start looking for window treatments and we visited with Rachelle some.  She was loving me today since I sent Petrina there to look into houses - since she needs one!  Maybe a future in sales for me?  Um...no.

The block layers working hard...and, yes, I paid them a lot!!

We then picked up Jeff and went to the Matthews Alive! festival that is like their 'fall festival.' Wow.  Let me just say that we are SO spoiled by the Fall Festival in Evansville.  It was 98 degrees out.  There were probably 7-10 food booths (nothing unique or that made you say "ew") and then rides and games we weren't going to do. Nothing was marked so we never did  find the craft area which is why I wanted to go.  The street was open to traffic at first so cars kept going by and the kids were wandering around while Jeff was talking the latest cell phone lingo with the Verizon booth guys.  I became a bit irritated by it all - or maybe it was just my shirt sticking to my sweaty self??  (hrm, it sounds funny now...)  So after getting a few freebies and Evan using a port-a-potty (of course) we left.  Found us a Texas Roadhouse and had some grub.  Needless to say, we are thankful to be coming home for the festival of all festivals in a few weeks...no festival will ever replace it!  :)