Romans 7:15-24 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?I know exactly what I need to do to get these 5 extra pounds off before they multiply into more - I even think about it while I shove the extra bites of chips and chocolate in. I know exactly what I need to do to get up out of bed in the morning so I can have the quiet time with God before anyone else gets up - I even think about it while I hit snooze for the fifth time. And while the comfort of the food and extra sleep feel good at that minute (even with the voice in my head saying - 'why are you doing this - this is not what you want to do') that next minute and few hours feels miserable for failing again. Why do I do what I do not want to do? Because evil is right there with me. Satan has found a way to get to me that happens to work right now. I also know that I am choosing comfort right now in these things over comfort in time with Him - that is sad. And I sure am putting forth my best effort and my willpower. But I will never win the war with my own strength. This I know. So, today, I am claiming John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" and Zechariah 4:6 NKJV "Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says the LORD of hosts."
My Bible Study is on "Discovering God's Will For Your Life," and the lesson that I worked on today was about planning to do His will. I spend a lot of time planning for things in my life. I plan my whole day, weeks, months - my calendar is my life - I would literally be lost without it. I feel in control (somewhat) with it. How much time do I spend planning to do His Will? I spend a lot of time organizing my time, planning it all out, keeping the family schedule straight - what activity is scheduled at what time and where. The "Jesus Calling" devotion for April 1st said this: "Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. Instead, ask my Spirit to guide you moment by moment. He will keep you close to Me." Ouch! Our Bible Study this week reminds me that planning for quiet times, healthy food choices, meals, exercise - all are part of God's will for my life. But I need to also remember that I can not do any of this apart from Him. My relationship with Him lately has been somewhat stale. If I gave any earthly relationship this little attention it would definitely waiver. Thankfully He is a God who does not waiver and is still right there waiting for me and forgiving me of my lack of effort. His Spirit wants to help me do better. He wants me to cling to Him and let Him do some of the planning - follow His lead and release finger by finger that tight grip I have on my time, my schedule, my calendar, my plans.