Remembrance - A Stack of Stones

Rocks at Dungeness Wildlife Refuge in Sequim, WA 6/17/09

It's been awhile in the making.  I can not say that I've mastered anything yet, but I can say our whole family has learned a ton.

God has allowed us to own two homes for well over a year now.  I do believe that He has wanted to teach us, grow us, and mold us.  A few weekends ago in church our pastor mentioned that myrrh does not get it's pleasing fragrance until it is crushed.  We have to be pushed and squeezed a bit in order to grow and then produce the fruit.  It sure does hurt sometimes.  But, God probably smiles that we are finally learning some of what He has wanted to open our eyes to.

As we go through the steps to prepare to close on the sale of our Indiana house in mid March, we are still learning.  But two things are glaringly obvious to us now.

1. God wants us to trust Him completely. 
2. God wants us to give generously.  

Yet these are the areas that He will continue to mold in us.  A couple weeks ago, as Jeff and I were heading to our Life Group we drove in silence.  We were both in turmoil on the inside which led to us being pretty icky to each other, too.  I was worried about the house inspection and whether it was going to cost us too much to do repairs.  And Jeff was worried about a reorganization that had happened at work and what kind of changes that would bring to him and his work environment.  We walked into group and everyone could see that we were struggling.  We didn't want to be there - we were just plain grumpy.  Everyone loved on us though and as we dove into our study on generosity and giving, Jeff began relaying the story of our journey over the past 20 months.  Each step along the way of something 'happening' to us, God in turn provided.  The way that we were convicted last February to tithe faithfully even though we had two house payments and we never turned back.  How we did not go without anything that we needed the past year.  Yes, there were some times of want and being rather tight, but we never went without.  God even taught us in the midst of things to have a heart of generosity...we still are in awe of how someone here obeyed God's nudge and gave us money in November to get our van brakes changed.  That money - a gift from someone who did not reveal themselves - changed my heart more than it provided us just extra money - although that was a blessing too!  It helped me even more in my journey of trusting God, too - it felt like it was straight from Him - "just trust Me, guys," He said.  We hogged the conversation at our group for quite a time remembering and revisiting God's faithfulness along the way.  By the end of group, we were cracking up and joking around, the weight had been lifted.  And we were wondering why we were not trusting God with these little things when we can share about how He has taken care of us so intimately for years and years.

The power of remembrance is amazing.  God made us and He gave us the ability to recall certain times - our memories.  Some hurt, some are so precious.  Memories are so powerful - so much emotion wrapped up in them when they are recalled - you can be whisked away back to that time and place in a blink of an eye.  When we take the time to tell our stories or really think through and visit memories of times when God was faithful - our faith in Him and our relationship with Him is strengthened.  We are renewed, re-energized  and strength is given to us.  We look at the history of the relationship and find that He is to be trusted, He won't leave us or forsake us. He will provide for those who love Him.  I'm sure it is the last thing that the devil wants of us - to remember how faithful and true God is.  He wants us to go with how we 'feel' in the moment - and turn around and go home and not go to Life Group (which is the only thing that we did discuss on that quiet ride to group.)  The devil wants us to wallow in our worries.  Just like the Israelites who witnessed many miracles and acts of faithfulness by God and continued to grumble and complain and worry that God was not going to provide - Jeff and I were reverting back to our human-ness. 

I never want to forget this experience we've had, witnessing His loving care and provision - His faithfulness, over these past months.  I never want it to be far from my mind.  It comforts me.  I want to revisit this in order to build my faith in Him.  I want to share it in order to help other's faith in Him.  In Joshua 4:20-24 Joshua stacked stones in order to serve as a reminder of God's faithfulness.  Hanging on our fridge, is the card that the anonymous gift of money came in - to serve as one of the reminders of His faithfulness to us - our little stack of stones.

Joshua 4:20-24  And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan.  He said to the Israelites, "In the future when your descendants ask their parents, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.'  For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over.  The LORD your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over.  He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God."