Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Target Practice

In December as I was having lunch with a friend, she threw out a question,  "Would nursing be what you would do if you could work and do anything?"  I feel like the correct answer should be "absolutely" - I mean, I went to school for it and have kept my license current and had just finished the continuing education hours.  I take a lot of pride in saying that I'm an RN.  It took a lot of work.  I enjoyed it while I did it.  I feel like I'm important when I tell people I'm a nurse (that's probably a whole other issue!)  But to be honest - it scares me now.  I have forgotten everything.  Except how to care.  Seriously, I was asked a simple question during a girl scout meeting the other night about head wounds and I wasn't sure of the answer...talk about embarrassing.  Luckily Emily wasn't embarrassed.  Whew!  Back to the question my friend posed:  I answered her honestly and said, "I'm not sure that it would be.  If I could do anything for work - it would be to have a little shabby chic boutique store and make my little painted signs."  But I really felt like that was a far-fetched idea.

I interviewed for another nursing job in December and I still haven't ever heard anything back - which is fine.  Yet, it makes me kind of sad.  I know that every year I don't work is one more year removed from the skills and makes it more likely that I'll have to take some kind of refresher courses in order to ever get back into it.  Yes, the money would be good.  But is that what I'm being called to do right now??  I'm not so sure.  I feel like being available to my family is THE single most important thing I can do.  And if I'm gone 8-9 hours a day I don't know that I can be what I need to be for them. Every nursing position door that I've managed to get my foot in since we've been here has been shut.  Not sure it is the answer.  And it doesn't make me excited to think about going back.

So, this month I've looked into the prices of renting booths to sell my handiwork.  There aren't many openings even though there are lots of shops and the rent is pricey.  I didn't even know if my stuff was cute - I'd only given it as gifts and you never know if people actually like it or are just being nice!   I decided to put pictures on my facebook page <---(click on that to see them) a week ago showing what I make and I started selling them and taking orders immediately!  I didn't even have it completely thought out and people were asking how much and whether I took orders!  Joy just flooded me.  I truly enjoy painting and making these little signs.  Yay!

Now...I wasn't able to start selling these signs without being intentional.  I've wanted to do it for a long time but hadn't done anything about it.  I finally took some steps and got it done after the conversation with my friend when I actually voiced my desire.

Last February I read a book by Anne Ortlund called "Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman."  It wasn't my favorite book ever.  But, I was very much challenged by the author to write down my LIFE PURPOSES, my LIFE GOALS, and my YEAR GOALS.  She pointed out the importance of writing them down.  There's something powerful about it.  It's intentional.  Once it's on paper I can review and revisit them and see them.  I can pray over them and ask God if it is still what He wants of me.  I made my life purposes more general like: Give generously, Trust blindly, Grow continually, etc.  My life goals are more specific like: go on a mission trip, write a Christian women's book, etc.  My year goals are very specific and are more of baby-steps to getting to my life goals at times: Continue blogging and praying about what to write, make daily time with God non-negotiable, etc.  I've loved having these written down so I have direction.  I re-wrote them in January this year and tweaked them a bit.  I pray over them often.

Seems like once God speaks to you about something, it comes up everywhere, right?  "If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time."  I've heard this quote a lot, but I was really convicted the last time I heard it said by Pastor Kevin.  SO true.  What am I aiming for?  What is life about?  Is it just getting up, going through the motions, hopefully having a few good moments, going to bed, doing it all over and over and over?  What am I trying to accomplish?  Mine and yours main life purposes should be to glorify God in all we do and to become more like Him.  If I haven't thought about it or written it down - been intentional  -- am I going to 'hit the mark?'

I am reading "A Confident Heart" by Renee Swope for my women's Bible Study right now.  Renee says, "When we don't know what our heart's desires are, we tend to spend our lives fulfilling the desires of others."  Ugh...what a waste!  I want to do what God wants me to do.  And what brings me joy too!  She adds, "But just as a target is designed to narrow the aim of an arrow, God uses the desires of our hearts to narrow the focus of where He wants our lives to make a mark for eternity."  I want my arrows to leave marks not just whiz around hitting nothing.  But if I don't have anything to aim at - what do I expect is going to happen?  If I don't know what the desires of my heart are??  Well, start by asking God.  He will reveal it.  It made me smile so big when my heart desire came to fruition with painting my signs and selling them!  My heart desire of writing my thoughts and feelings out became something I could do just by sitting down and doing it.  My heart desire of encouraging became something I could do just by taking the time (intentionally) to write a text, email or card out to a sister.

Our new lead pastor, Pastor Shane, (yay!!!!) talked about the importance of  family values a couple weekends ago.  He reminded us, "If we are not intentional to set our values then others around us will do it for us."  It was a great sermon showing us how powerful culture can be on our households.  If we do not talk about what our values are with our children - then the world will tell our children what their values should be.  That. is. scary.  He closed his sermon with a challenge to each of us to go home and establish our values as a family - beliefs that guide us as we seek to glorify God.  Some hints - be specific/not generic, support each value with a Bible verse (God's authority), and write the values out and hang them up (as a reminder and for accountability).

Sunday night the four of us sat down and discussed what we'd like to have as our family values.  We came up with six "We will..." statements that we supported with scripture and hung on a decorative tree thing in our hallway.  We decided on these values together and agreed that we all need to help each other stick to these values.  It had never even crossed my mind to do something like this.

So, this has been a lengthy post, one I've been wanting to write all month.  I've meditated on these subjects for weeks now and it has flowed out through my fingers so quickly.  A lot of times I still feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly in this life - wondering what I'm going to be when I grow up; wondering if I'm really doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm so thankful that God has shown me over the past year how important knowing and claiming and writing down what my purposes, goals, heart desires, and family values are.  And when I'm feeling like I'm not quite hitting the mark or feeling aimless...it doesn't really come down to whether I'm a nurse or I clean houses and make crafts...am I glorifying Him and making Him greater?

John 3:30  "He must become greater; I must become less."


No comments:

Post a Comment