Friday, December 2, 2011

Not Comfortable

Normalcy...gosh, I miss it.  I miss feeling totally relaxed, completely comfortable, and at home.  I think when we are uncomfortable we rely on Him more completely.  But, man, to just be totally relaxed...  

I spent some time texting this morning with a friend about how I was feeling.  She, being experienced at this, had such encouragement for me.  I then got a text from a friend that moved away a month before we did.  It was so encouraging for me to see that at that very moment one of my sisters was having a hard time too.  I could then pray for us both instead of making it all about me.  Although I really am even having a hard time seems like I just keep praying the same things over and over and over...and He has heard them so He now I am just waiting.  And hoping that in the waiting I am growing and learning.  Because it sure does hurt.

I went to lunch today with two new-to-Charlotte friends.  Christina and Mary Kay are both many many miles away from home just like me.  Lots of reassurance.  It is a blessing to be able to be around these ladies and others who are away from comfort.  We must let go of the past (remember it, love it, and cherish it though!) but move on...agree that this is our life now and step into what He has for us and make the most of it.  It is hard not to dwell on the past and miss it.

Vent Session - FULL of complaints, beware!!! 
I feel like I am stuck in mode "lazy."  I have just kind of stopped...stopped moving on or letting go.  This week has been a hard one - not horrible, but hard.  Jeff is working late every night and is probably under a lot of stress too, meaning he is a little shorter than usual (not in height, LOL).  A few big things that I had to talk through with the kids (and then you always question whether you did good or just scarred them for life!!!)  Increasing concern about the church we visited last week (Elevation) that had to be discussed with Jeff - we decided it is probably not for us since the concern/uneasiness is there.  I've gained 5 pounds and continue to eat to make myself feel better.  Oh, and anytime you profess your freedom of something, like I did in my last few blogs, you'll be sure to be attacked in that area!!!  LOL!  That's been fun.  I have had headaches more days than not for the past three weeks and my tummy has been less than happy.  Trying to fit in all the appropriate visits for our 5 days back in Evansville on the calendar and wondering if we are going to be able to keep up that pace for those days.  We missed a fun SNC concert with front row seats last night in Evansville.  These white walls are bugging me (I know...that is lame!!)  LOL.  I need COLOR - warmth.  It feels cold in here.  I can't seem to get anything accomplished - just scatterbrained and unorganized - not myself.  I just made our first double mortgage payment.  I wonder whether the buyer that looked at our house a second time last weekend is going to make an offer (doesn't look good though).  I wonder how we are going to do this....................sigh.....
Philipians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
So... I remember that God is in our tomorrows, so I need not worry or be anxious about things....He is there, therefore it will be manageable in some way or another.  In the midst of these things this week He has provided me with my most "social" week here.  I've been walking in the neighborhood, gone to lunch, gone on a shopping trip - all with new friends. He is there...and He always will be.  I am blessed...

I just reread this, as I always do and He brought to me what I need to focus on. Contentment. To be relaxed is to be content.  I thought I was 'ok' with being here now, but I probably need to revisit I content?  Am I truly joyful and at peace right now?  I want to be! Lord help me to be joyful, peaceful, content!  I want to move on and see what You have for us here!  I want to enjoy being here and what You have for us!  Thank you for the encouragement you have provided through old and new friendships this week! 

Philippians 4:12 says, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."      -Please make it true of me!

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