Saturday, August 4, 2012

Renew A Steadfast Spirit Within Me!

Last weekend we took a quick trip to Evansville.  It was fun, got to see our parents and Jenny and Jason, saw a few other friends very quickly, checked on our house, and ate some Turoni's, Hacienda, and Donut Bank.  While there I commented how weird it felt to come back after not living there for a year and it felt so normal there -so routine.  We know every place there, every road, every restaurant, etc.  It is weird to not call a place we know like the back of our hand 'home.'  Yet, it didn't feel like home.  And it was frustrating, yet again, to visit and not have a heavy weight looming on us.  I imagine it will be so nice when our house finally sells.  It will be like the loose ends are tied and we can completely close this chapter.

Jeff and I left Em and Ev in Indiana with some eager grandparents and made our way back home.  It has been quiet here, but I've made friends with our kitties again since the kids aren't hogging them.  We have gone on a few dates.  I made Pad Thai for Jeff one night - something he's wanted me to make again for him for at least a year now!  During the days I've kept busy painting a cool design on the foyer wall that I saw on Pinterest, painting the upstairs bathroom, visiting with my friends Stephanie and Wendy, going for walks, running a few errands.  I'm glad I've had things to keep me busy so it wasn't lonely.  I have applied for six or seven nursing jobs now but haven't heard anything yet.  It's been so quiet I have had plenty of time to be in praise and prayer throughout the week, crying out to Him more than I ever have.  I have experienced several bouts of what must be anxiety (I guess that is what it is - my chest feels like it is going to split open almost!) over the last few weeks when I let my mind wander to the 'what if's' and start worrying about the future. 

Psalm 51:10
For the most part I have had an upbeat attitude and a steadfast trust.  The last few days have been a little rough though and I have let fear and doubt creep in.  It's hard.  I could easily choose to go down the 'it's hopeless' path.  I can not believe it has been a year and here we are - in the same position...  (yes, that was kind of a hopeless thought I just typed - see...)

I also went and ate at Chick-fil-A on Wednesday to show my support to the company's owners who will not deny our God, but lift Him up and bring glory to Him by not being afraid to say that they value and believe and practice what the Bible says.  I applaud him - we all need to be so bold!  And as the world gets worse and worse - as it will - we definitely need to expect that these type of situations will come up more and more. 
2 Timothy 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
2 Timothy 4:1-5 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage —with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
It has amazed me all of the comments I have read from those who are so lost and so angry and hateful - they need Jesus and they need Him before it is too late.  Not to preach gloom and doom... Sometimes there is a place for personal opinion, but some things are God's doctrine that is not to be twisted for convenience and comfort.  Everyone wants to argue their stance, but the bottom line is - if you have not put your trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior admitting your need for help in this life and turning from your sins - when He comes back for us you will have an eternity to regret it.  Since we have moved to this city (I've never lived in a town larger than 120,000) I am constantly amazed at how many houses are everywhere we look.  There are people everywhere - and we are only in the 18th largest city in America!  There are people everywhere!  And so so so many of them are hurting and lost and have no idea that Jesus died for them.  Now, what do I do about this?  I think Christians took a stand this past week, but there are some who are being self-righteous about it and mean and nasty towards a certain group of people.  That doesn't help anyone!  I pray that God gives me opportunities to use the passion that I have developed over the past year on this subject matter in a way that would cause lost people to see a glimmer of Him.

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