Enjoying This Moment He Gave Me

I've gone and done it again...  One day I will learn that not all 'good' activities are necessarily the 'best' for me to participate in!  Overwhelmed with the amount of entries on my calendar.  And reflecting on how the past six weeks or so have been a blur - what a waste!  Each day I wake and vow to 'get through' it, falling into bed exhausted each night.  For a few weeks I have repeated, 'something needs to change.'  And so now, after praying - "Lord, please help me to know what to prune, the activities that aren't necessary - and especially the ones that aren't pleasing to you." - I scaled back my commitments.

Am I a bad girl or a failure because I can't keep all the balls in the air that I'm trying to juggle?  No.  In fact, when I decided last week what needed to 'go' - a weight was lifted and I was lighter and freer and more at peace.  Ah!  Confirmation that this was okay with God - that this was pleasing to Him - even though it was a good-God-activity that I eliminated!

My friend Jenny sent me this that she wrote years ago:

Are you a “super server”?  Are you involved in any and every service you can find?  This is a good way to burn out on serving the Lord in any capacity.  Service looks like a good thing, and it can be, but if your hyper active system of serving God is simply for the sake of being involved and not for the purpose of furthering His purposes, then you’re in the wrong place.  He will accomplish his purposes, but he doesn’t need YOU to do it.  He LETS us be involved so we can get glimpses of who He is in the lives of others.  Do not be mistaken by thinking that you’re doing Him a favor.  It is so the other way around.  Before you do anything for God, pray earnestly about what his purposes for that activity are and how and if he wants you to be involved.  If he does, he’ll make the way clear and provide both the opportunity and the energy to do the task right.  

My overwhelming desire right now may sound corny to some, but it is truly my heart's desire.  It is to enjoy each moment.  To be thankful for each moment.  To not let life pass me by.  To not wake up each morning just hoping to get through the day.  To wake up expectantly looking for all the ways that God is blessing me each moment.  To thank God for the little things - the way the dust is glittering in the sunlight in the air in my living room right now.  Stuff that I don't notice when I'm on a dead run to get each thing done that I've signed up to do.  To have the time, or should I say, use the time in my day for purposeful, Kingdom things - to encourage my brothers and sisters and lift them up, to be the wife and mom I long to be, to be usable to my God.

God, what do you have for me today?  I need You.  Shape me, mold me, use me - for Your glory today and Your's alone.  Less of me - more of You.  Fill me right now with your unfailing love so that I might sing for joy today.  Help me to live in this moment, right now.  Lord, help me to come to You before I give a 'yes' and before my flesh cries out "I want to be a part of that activity!"  I give myself to You as a living sacrifice for You to use as You need to further Your Kingdom and to bring You glory.  Amen!