Don't you love this time of year? I love getting back into a routine after school starts. New school supplies, new Bible studies, new opportunities, groups, clubs. God's all about changes and seasons and newness, too. He may let us stay in one place for awhile, but He'll usually at some point pick us up and turn us around and pat our back in a different direction. 'Ok, you've done what I want you to in this place, now I need you to go over here for awhile.' Or 'Girl, you are spinning your wheels and I never even told you to go that way...how about you go this way now.' (Just so you know I have a picture of a wind-up toy stuck up against a wall in my head right now!) Sometimes it is a big relief when things finally change. Sometimes you know it is the path He wants you on, but it is one of the hardest things you'll ever do.
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Visiting with a few of my sisters in Christ in Indiana this July! |
As those parts of my heart have healed mostly from moving away from my family, friends, work, church, and community - I was finally able to have a
relaxing visit in my hometown this summer and call upon friends to meet up and I didn't feel like my heart was going to be shredded to pieces while doing so! But other places in my heart are still raw. Over the past two years He's had me on a few different roads and I've stopped and started and trudged along and recently really felt lost on the foggy road. Disconnect and loneliness was really taking a toll on me. The rabbit trails I had taken on my own since being here were not filling the void - even though I tried hard. This summer was full of fun family time but it was also hard on me emotionally as I felt so alone. Depression. God was always there though. Sometimes waiting on God to change our season is so hard! Here is what to remember during the wait though! 2 Corinthians 4:17:
"For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!"
The last few weeks have been lighter, my outlook has changed. I'm looking forward to so much! I'm a part of things - not just in them - but a
part of them. He is directing our family on a few different paths than what we were on. He's pushing me out of my comfort zone in a few ways that makes me have butterflies in my belly and a smile on my face at the same time when thinking of actually doing what I've said I'll do! He's providing blessings of uplifting conversations and new friendships and connections - encouragement. Maybe it was all there before - it probably, actually was. The eyes of my heart may have been hardened and closed. Yes, Lamentations 3:22-23 says
"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." His compassion, love and faithfulness is always with us - new every morning for us. He remains the same. I just was not in a place of recognizing it.
God encouraged me this morning with Isaiah 43:19 while doing a Bible study.
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." I've read it before, loved it, was encouraged by it. But it came alive and personal again this morning. It's a promise. And it was Him talking to me. I can sense the change lately. I can sense the newness. I can sense the excitement. And the hope!
Do I feel happy all the time? Is everything just peachy in my life? No! But to have hope and a promise of a new thing...and a promise that seasons change and don't last forever... To have a God who is personal enough and loves me enough to point out to me this morning that it is
He who is taking care of me and changing things - "See??
I am doing a new thing!" To give me hope...
Thank you Jesus...thank you...
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