Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Not Just Obedience....FAITH

This question from God this morning:

"Why are you not trusting Me to sell your house?"

My answer to Him:

My first inclination is to say I don't know.  But that isn't an answer.  Is it that I am selfish and spoiled?  I want what I want and I want it now.  Is it also that I like to control things?  I do not know how this is going to play out and I want to fix it now.  Ahhh, I think that You just told me...  Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."  I still am finding it hard to believe that we are easily trusting You in the whole picture - We trust that You moved us for a purpose.  Yet here I am completely and totally hung up on one detail of Your intricate plan.  I worry that You have forgotten about it, that it is going to cause us problems.  I am being the nagging mom/wife, only to You - "Now, don't forget - You are doing so good, but don't forget that this needs to be wrapped up in the next month so we can go on living our perfect, easy lives." How dare I treat You like that!  I am humanizing You, the One who created this earth and everything on it.  You forget no detail.  And just because You wanted us to come here and we did - does not give us a free pass to an easy transition.  Forgive me for basically thinking we need to be rewarded for obeying.  Ugh...

Hebrews 11:7 says, "By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family."

So, Noah obeyed when You called him.  Did he ever waver?  Did he get hung up on ONE thing?  Did he ask You repeatedly to take care of the expense of having a home and the construction hanging over his head?  But Noah didn't just obey.  He had faith...he trusted You...completely.  We can obey you, but not trust you.  Two totally different things...and one of them we have not done such a good job at.  So, forgive us for being so high and mighty/proud for following Your lead and obeying, but then not trusting You in Your plan.  Lord, let us surrender to You completely.  Please take back the handling of the details that I have tried to take from You.  Forgive me for thinking that my solution is better than what You are doing.  Let us just rest in You and let us cast our anxieties on You since You care for us.  Let us trust in You with all of our hearts and not get wrapped up in what makes sense to us...  And again, forgive me for thinking I can earn Your grace with the house...not sure why I keep having those thoughts -"well maybe NOW it will sell since I realized I didn't have faith."  How embarrassing.  Let me surrender completely the hold I have on this.  It is Yours, I relinquish it to You.  I trust You have wonderful plans for us here...I also trust You will do what it takes to get to those wonderful outcomes.  I give up.  I give You control.  Thank you for taking this burden!  Help me to revisit this when I need to!!  Which will probably be in about 10 minutes.  You know me!! :)  LOL

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